#but these songs i still stand by to this day

[solxamber]

Leona romantic and here's the song!

https://youtu.be/nBteO-bU78Y?si=BNupz7ZfAHeIzMER

Dont forget to drink water and eat some food!

"Love me like I love you" || Leona Kingscholar

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: We're Still Underground by Eve

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 660

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship

Leona Kingscholar had never trusted happiness. It was a fleeting thing, a trick of the light, a cruel joke whispered on the wind before it was snatched away. He had learned long ago that hope was a losing game, that people only stuck around until they found something—or someone—better.

So when you came into his life, so bright and unwavering, so determined to love him without reservation, Leona didn’t know what to do with it.

You were everything he had convinced himself he wasn’t meant to have. Soft laughter in the morning, your fingers smoothing through his hair as he rested his head in your lap. Gentle kisses on the corner of his mouth, whispered words of affection given so freely it made his chest ache. You looked at him like he was worthy, like he was enough.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it?

Because one day, you would realize the truth.

One day, you would see what everyone else had always seen—that he wasn’t worth staying for.

Leona had been waiting for that day since the moment you first called him yours.

Waiting for you to wake up and understand that he could never be the person you deserved.

Waiting for the moment you left him behind.

It was late when it happened, when the words he had spent so long dreading finally left your lips. The two of you were tangled together on his bed, your body warm beside his, your hand resting against his chest in lazy contentment.

“I love you."

He froze.

For a moment, the words didn’t quite register, like a foreign language spoken too softly to understand.

Then, his body tensed, and something heavy lodged itself in his throat.

“Don’t joke about stuff like that,” he muttered, staring up at the ceiling. His voice was calm, but the grip of his fingers against the sheets betrayed him.

There was silence, thick and suffocating.

Then—

"Leona."

His name on your lips was firm, filled with something unshakable. Before he could move, you reached for his hand, gripping it tightly.

"Look at me."

He did.

And you were watching him with something so raw, so devastatingly real, that it made his heart stutter in his chest.

"I mean it," you said, voice steady, eyes burning into his. "I love you."

Something inside him cracked, something deep and buried, something he had spent years convincing himself didn’t exist.

His breath was uneven, his thoughts a mess of tangled emotions. "Why?" he asked hoarsely.

"Leona, you're it for me." Your fingers tightened around his hand, grounding him, keeping him from slipping back into the shadows of his own mind. "I love you. Not some idealized version of you, not some fantasy. You."

His throat felt tight.

You weren’t saying this because you wanted something from him, or because you were caught up in the moment.

"You think I want the sun?" you murmured, your forehead pressing against his, your warmth seeping into his skin. "I don’t care where we are, Leona. I don’t care if we never leave the underground. As long as I have you, that’s enough."

His fingers twitched, then curled around yours.

For so long, he had been waiting for the inevitable goodbye.

But you weren’t leaving.

You had never planned to.

Slowly, hesitantly, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. He could feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, could feel the quiet certainty of your presence beside him.

And maybe, he could believe in this.

Maybe love wasn’t about climbing toward something unreachable. Maybe it wasn’t about being enough for the rest of the world.

Maybe it was simply this—two people standing in the dark, hands clasped tight, knowing that neither of them would ever let go.

And for the first time in his life—

Leona didn't mind remaining underground

Masterlist ; Valentine's Event

[leighsartworks216]

Hello! Hope your days going great.

Saw you opened requests for Valentine's and honestly you're my go to blog for dealing with all the feelings Zayne gives me. 🫠

I tried to really think about a good proper fluffy Valentine's prompt, but I can't get the idea of Zayne's full body weight on reader.

Just full on flop, waist between knees, nose in neck crook, arms around an arched back type of full contact cuddle. 😩🤌🏼

Post date? Early morning? Maybe the first time he ever truly let's himself he held? Not worrying about crushing them?

I just want him to drape over me like a weighted blanket.

Bonus points if there's some scalp scratching type of melty action? I just want to smother that man in my love honestly.

All Night Forever

Zayne x gn!Reader

I will always drop everything to hold this man and give him the attention he deserves

Title from "All Night Forever" by TWRP (it suits him SO well)

Warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, established relationship, slow dancing, cuddling, kissing, touch-starved Zayne, literal sleeping together, silly, teasing, banter

Word Count: 1,190

Main Masterlist

First - Second - Third LADS Masterlists

AO3

Tag List Form

Zayne smiles softly as he watches you twirl into the house. You hum a song aloud, mindlessly kicking your shoes away and following imaginary dance steps. It’s one of the songs they played at the gala tonight.

He toes off his own shoes. Crouching down, he sets his them in their proper place before gathering yours and neatly aligning them in just the same way. He doesn’t have a chance to grab your slippers before you’re tapping on his shoulder and tugging on his arm.

“Dance with me,” you say. Your movements have the familiar lag of exhaustion, lingering just at the very edge of your swaying hips. Your eyes are still so bright and excited, but the bags underneath are more prominent with the late hour. And yet here to are, pulling him back up to his feet so he can dance with you.

He chuckles as he steps closer, his hands settling easily on your waist. “Haven’t you danced enough for one night?” You wrap your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the edge of his collar, guiding him with you as you step away from the door and into the house proper.

It’s dark. The only light to guide the way comes from the ceiling light in the entryway, but its warm reach only extends so far. It’s substituted by the moon’s blue glow the further you go, highlighting the edge of furniture and the side of your face. Despite the lack of proper light, you move through the house with ease. You never have anything to fear; even if you were drunk and stumbling, Zayne would guide you away from any danger, protecting you from a stubbed toe or banged up shin.

You step back, he steps forward. Each step is reciprocated, timed out to the slow song you hum. You lead him into the living room. He quirks an eyebrow in question, but he follows. He would follow you into hell, swaying back and forth and never letting his eyes stray from your face.

He’s caught off balance when you hug him tighter and pull him down, though he should have expected such an act of mischief from you. You fall back onto the soft couch cushions, bouncing lightly with the impact. He has to let you go in order to catch himself. His hands cage you in, one knee between your legs. His other leg is extended out, standing on the soft carpet laid out across the floor to keep himself steady. He shoots you a glare, though it lacks any real upset.

“Lay with me,” you plead sweetly. You tug on him lightly, but he stays firm. “I want to hold you.”

He shakes his head with a soft, breathy laugh. “You’re going to be uncomfortable,” he warns, thumbing at the sleeve of your attire, “dressed like this.”

You shift so your knee presses against his side, urging him further to lay down between your legs. “That’s a Future-Me problem. Now-Me wants to hold my boyfriend.”

“Future-You is going to be complaining to Future-Zayne about this. He won’t say ‘I told you so,’ but he’ll be thinking it.”

You giggle. “Noted. Now, please?”

“You need to move over.”

“Nope. Just lay on top of me!”

He gives you a dubious look. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Never truly able to resist your antics, he relents. He brings his other leg up onto the couch. As he lowers himself down to lay on top of you, his legs stretch out behind him, toes nearly touching the arm rest. His arms are the last to adjust. You can tell by the serious, focused look on his face he’s concerned about resting his full weight on you. All it takes to remove that worry is, naturally, you: you hug him close, guiding his head to your chest and kissing his forehead, and he finally slips his arms under your back to hug you in return.

Once everything has settled into place, he rests his chin on your chest to look at your face. “Happy?”

Your smile puts the moon to shame. “Almost.”

Before he can ask what else you want - your dear Zayne, always ready to ask ‘how high’ when you say ‘jump’ - you’re taking it for yourself. You drag your nails along his scalp, immediately drawing shivers and a shuddering sigh from him. His arms curl tighter around your body. His ears turn pink with blush. But all this leads to what you really wanted, as his body relaxes further into yours and his weight presses you deeper into the cushions.

“Now,” you whisper, “I’m happy.”

You think he flushes deeper with embarrassment at being caught so off guard by such a simple touch, but he doesn’t fight it. He turns his face to the side, resting his cheek against you. “You still find ways to surprise me, even now,” he murmurs. “However, I won’t deny that it feels nice.”

You bite your lip to try hiding the wide smile that wants to break free. You watch his face as you tangle your fingers into his hair, scratching lightly across his scalp, from the nape of his neck to the crown of his head and back. It’s addicting, watching the way his body reacts. You can see the tension leave his shoulders and back. Feel the way he all but melts into you. His head tilts slightly into your touch, chasing after the sensations that tingle under his skin, even as he tries to lie still. His soft breaths, shaky and content.

Minutes pass by in comfortable silence, broken only by your shared breaths and synced heartbeats. You thought he was already asleep when he slowly shifts further up, adjusting himself so he can hide his face in your neck. His nose is cold where it brushes your skin. He murmurs a soft apology when you involuntarily jolt from it, but you don’t let him pull away. Instead it nuzzles into your pulse, replaced every now and again with his soft lips leaving tired kisses that linger as he counts each beat of your heart.

You brush his bangs aside to kiss his forehead. “I love you…” you whisper against his skin.

“I love you, too…” he whispers back, just before his breathing evens out and he falls asleep in your arms.

-

BONUS:

You sit up with a groan, rubbing at your neck and arching your back in hopes it’ll pop and steal with it the ache in your spine. Lines are imprinted in your skin from your clothes, that now feel like sandpaper against your skin.

Zayne, wet hair sticking to his forehead and fresh, comfortable clothes in place of his suit from last night, smiles down at you. He wordlessly passes over two pain tablets and a glass of water.

You glare at him as you take the medicine. “You can’t say it. You said Future-Zayne wouldn’t say it.”

“I did,” he concedes. His smile only grows wider as he leans over the back of the couch to kiss your forehead. “But I also believe I said he would be thinking it.”

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @deepzombieyouth @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko @deusfoundry @hawtlineblingz @that-lost-one @always-just-red

[neferaskingdom]

Not So Bad After All | CL16

NEFERASKINGDOM

Summary: Valentine’s Day sucks, the bathroom line is too long, and Charles just wants to go home. Until a ridiculous scheme, a fake proposal, and the best tiramisu of his life change everything.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

Charles Leclerc did not want to be here.

Valentine’s Day was already insufferable, but being dragged to a bar by his well-meaning (and currently very drunk) friends was making it so much worse. His brothers were off on their respective romantic dates, and instead of sulking in peace at home, he was here—stuck in a crowded bar, dodging heart-shaped balloons and being subjected to overly loud love songs blaring from the speakers.

And now, to top it all off, he was standing in an absurdly long line for the bathroom.

“Ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as the line refused to move.

“Tell me about it,” a voice said beside him.

Charles turned his head to find a woman standing next to him, arms crossed, scowling at the line ahead. She looked equally unimpressed with the night’s events.

He raised an eyebrow. “Bad night?”

She huffed, tilting her head towards the couple making out aggressively in the corner. “I’ve seen horror movies less disturbing than that.”

Charles snorted, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. “Agreed.”

They lapsed into silence, both staring ahead at the unmoving line. A few seconds passed before she spoke again. “You don’t look like you’re having fun.”

He exhaled, rubbing his face. “That’s because I’m not.”

She smirked. “Then why are you here?”

Charles sighed, hands in his pockets. “My friends thought I needed ‘cheering up’ because my brothers are both in relationships, and I am not.”

She nodded sympathetically. “Same. Except my best friend didn’t even try to lie about it. She just said, ‘You’re too single, and it’s embarrassing.’” She gestured toward the girl still making out in the corner. “That would be her.”

Charles winced. “Brutal.”

“Right? I told her I’d rather stay home and watch a move or something.”

Charles let out a laugh, genuinely amused. “I think I’d prefer that too.”

As the line inched forward at a snail’s pace, their conversation flowed effortlessly.

"Okay, explain this to me," she said, turning to face him fully. "Why do people think giving someone overpriced flowers that will die in three days is romantic?"

Charles chuckled. "Right? And the price! it's like they double it just because it’s February 14th."

She scoffed. "Exactly! And don't even get me started on the chocolates. You know they just put the same candy in a heart-shaped box and charge extra."

"The worst part is the expectation," Charles added, shaking his head. "Like, if you don’t do something extravagant, suddenly you don’t love your partner enough?"

She snapped her fingers. "Yes! If you need a specific day to prove your love, maybe your relationship isn’t as strong as you think."

Charles smirked. "So, not a fan of grand gestures, then?"

"Oh, I love grand gestures," she admitted, tilting her head. "Just not ones dictated by capitalism."

“So let me get this straight,” she said after a particularly heated rant about heart-shaped balloons. “You got dragged here against your will, your friends abandoned you, and now you’re standing in line for the bathroom ranting at a stranger?”

Charles groaned. “I am beginning to think I have been tricked.”

She shook her head in mock pity. “Tragic.”

He opened his mouth to respond when, to his horror, his stomach let out a loud growl.

She turned to him, grinning. “Oh my god.”

“…I’m hungry,” he admitted, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

She laughed. “You know what? Let’s get out of here. I know a place.”

The place she led him to was a semi-formal restaurant with dim lighting, cozy booths, and the most incredible menu Charles had ever seen. By the time their food arrived, they were already deep into conversation, swapping stories about their worst dates, cringiest romantic gestures, and Valentine’s Day traumas.

Charles took a bite of the cheesecake and immediately let out a sound that could only be described as obscene. “Mon dieu. This is the best thing I have ever eaten.”

His companion grinned. “Oh, you think that’s good? There’s something even better.”

He looked up, intrigued. “Impossible.”

She leaned forward conspiratorially. “They used to sell the most heavenly tiramisu. It was legendary. But they discontinued it.”

Charles frowned. “Then how do you know it’s better?”

She smirked. "Because I’ve had it before and fun fact it’s on the secret menu now. But it’s a whole ordeal." She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice like she was letting him in on a great secret. "The thing is, their tiramisu is legendary—like, hours of prep, delicate layers, the kind of dessert that requires actual effort. It got discontinued because the chef didn’t want to deal with the hassle anymore. But, through my very reliable sources—" she wiggled her eyebrows "—I found out they still serve it. But… only for very, very special occasions."

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

She pulled a simple ring off her finger and slid it across the table. "They only serve it on very special occasions Charles. The chef is a real romantic."

Charles stared at her, unblinking. “You’re joking.”

She shook her head, trying to look serious despite the mischief in her eyes. “Not at all. I’ve tried everything to get a taste again, but my friends refuse to participate in my schemes.”

Charles hesitated, glancing between her and the ring. “You’re telling me I have to propose to you… for tiramisu?”

She nodded solemnly. “For the greatest tiramisu known to man.”

He exhaled, rubbing his temples. “I cannot believe I am considering this.”

She gasped. “Charles. Think of the dessert.”

He groaned dramatically before picking up the ring. “Fine. But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”

Before she could react, he got down on one knee.

The restaurant quieted.

Charles took her hand, his thumb brushing over her knuckles as he looked up at her with nothing but warmth in his eyes. "Mon amour," he murmured, voice steady, heartfelt. "We've known each other since we were kids. You were always there—my partner in crime, my best friend. I can't imagine my life without you."

A few people around them sighed dreamily.

She felt a laugh bubble up, but Charles was fully committed, his gaze unwavering. "We've had our ups and downs, but through it all, it's always been you. And it always will be." He lifted the ring, giving her a small, knowing smile. "So what do you say, mon coeur? Marry me, and let’s spend the rest of our lives together."

The restaurant erupted in applause as she let out a shaky laugh, nodding. "Yes," she breathed, eyes locked onto his. "Yes, Charles, of course."

His grin was immediate, radiant, as he slipped the ring onto her finger. She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "You know... I think I always knew it was you. Ever since the day you carried me home after I sprained my ankle as a kid."

Charles chuckled, squeezing her hand. "You remember that?"

"Always," she said, voice warm. "And now, I guess I get to spend forever remembering this too."

The applause grew louder, a few cheers echoing through the restaurant as the chef himself emerged, grinning from ear to ear, ready to present them with their well-earned tiramisu.

As soon as they sat back down, she burst into laughter. “I cannot believe you just did that.”

He smirked. “Well, I had to commit.”

The tiramisu arrived, and the moment Charles took his first bite, he slumped back in his seat. “Merde.”

She watched, delighted. “I told you.”

Charles stretched his arms above his head as they stepped out into the cool night air, letting out a dramatic sigh. "I hate you."

She snorted, stuffing her hands into her coat pockets. "Wow. Romance is alive and thriving, I see."

"No, seriously," Charles continued, shaking his head. "That tiramisu was too good. Now every other tiramisu I eat will be a disappointment. You’ve ruined me."

She smirked. "That’s the price you pay."

Charles groaned. "I despise you."

She hummed, clearly enjoying his suffering. "Well, if it helps, they have different staff on Mondays."

He glanced at her. "And?"

She grinned. "So, if you want another piece, we could just… go again."

Charles narrowed his eyes. "How do you even know this?"

She took a deep breath, like she was trying very hard to act normal before saying something completely unhinged. "Because I have tried everything to get that tiramisu again. I have studied their staff schedules, noted which days the chef isn’t working, and even considered staging a fake engagement like 15 times, but my friends—" she threw her hands up in frustration "—are all cowards who refuse to propose to me for the sake of dessert."

Charles was already laughing before she even finished. "I cannot believe you have gone to these lengths for tiramisu."

"It’s not just tiramisu, Charles. It’s a masterpiece. A once-in-a-lifetime experience. A divine creation that mere mortals like us barely deserve. And yet, my so-called friends refuse to put their morals aside for the cause." She sighed. "Until tonight. You, sir, are a true ally."

He smirked. "Clearly. And what do allies get?"

She shrugged. "Eternal gratitude? The satisfaction of knowing you’ve done something noble?"

Charles held out his phone. "Your number."

She blinked. "What?"

He wiggled the phone slightly. "So we can go on Monday, obviously."

Her lips parted, eyes scanning his face like she was trying to find the joke. "You actually want to go again?"

Charles shrugged. "I mean… yeah. That tiramisu was worth it. And, you know… you’re fun."

She studied him for a second before snorting. "Unbelievable."

"Believe it, mon amour." He winked.

Still smiling, she took his phone and added her number before handing it back. "Fine. Monday it is."

Charles grinned. "Perfect."

As they walked side by side, their conversation spiraled into absurdity.

"Okay," she said, "how many ways do you think we could disguise ourselves to get another piece?"

"Fake mustaches?" Charles suggested. "Though that might be too suspicious."

"Agreed. What about wigs? I could totally pull off blonde."

"Mmm… questionable. We’d need a full transformation."

She snapped her fingers. "Fake accents! If we pretend to be tourists, they might not recognize us."

Charles gasped. "Genius. We’ll go in, act completely clueless—where should we be from?"

"Not Australia. You could never pull off an Aussie accent."

"Fine. Italian tourists. Very authentic."

She laughed. "You realize this is insane, right?"

Charles smirked, nudging her playfully. "And yet, you’re still planning it with me."

She groaned. "I hate that you have a point."

As their ridiculous tiramisu heist plans continued, Charles found himself thinking that maybe—just maybe—Valentine’s Day wasn’t so bad after all.

[saraaisfree]

Colors of Us (Kwon Ji-Yong)

pairing: Kwon Ji-Yong x reader

category: fluff, slight angst if you squint

word count: 922

(inspired by this gorgeous hairstyle from 2022)

The days since your boyfriend returned from the military had settled into a familiar rhythm. You’d wake up late, wrapped in each other’s warmth, make a lazy breakfast, and talk about your plans for the day. Then, after work, you’d return home, cuddle on the couch, and fall asleep together.

It was peaceful. It was simple.

It was nothing like the whirlwind life you used to share.

Back then, the “rockstar” era of G-Dragon was in full swing—the partying never seemed to end, the tour schedule was relentless, and the constant travel blurred the days together. You watched how it drained him, how the weight of being a global icon never seemed to leave his shoulders. You did everything you could to support him, but sometimes, even you weren’t sure if it was enough.

Then, after his military service, everything changed.

When Ji-Yong came back, he wasn’t G-Dragon anymore. He was Kwon Ji-Yong—the boy you had fallen in love with, stripped of the fame, the cameras, and the noise. At first, he barely left your shared apartment, retreating into himself for months. He was quiet, hesitant, afraid of stepping back into a world that had moved on without him.

But now, three years later, things were starting to look up. A new BIGBANG song, Still Life, was about to be released, and you could see the spark returning to his eyes. It wasn’t just about making music—it was about reclaiming a part of himself.

And that’s how you found yourself standing in your tiny bathroom, bowls of vibrant hair dye scattered across the counter, preparing to give your boyfriend a brand-new look.

Ji-Yong leaned against the sink, watching as you mixed the first batch. His platinum blonde hair, still damp from washing, hung loosely over his forehead. The sight made you nostalgic—he had always loved experimenting with colors, but this time, it felt different. This time, it was a fresh start.

“So, what color should we do first?” you asked, turning to him with a grin.

He smirked, tilting his head in thought. “Whichever one you want, love. I trust you understand my vision, so just go crazy.”

“Dangerous words, Kwon Ji-Yong,” you teased, dipping a brush into a striking shade of electric blue. “I might just give you rainbow hair.”

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

And with that, you got to work.

The bathroom quickly became a chaotic mess—splashes of dye on the counter, smudges of color on your arms, and the occasional curse when Ji-Yong playfully nudged you mid-stroke.

“Hold still!” you scolded, carefully sectioning his hair. “Do you want this to turn out patchy?”

“You’re just enjoying bossing me around,” he teased, though he obediently stayed still.

Twenty minutes later, the masterpiece was complete. His hair, once a blank canvas, was now a blend of vibrant hues—red, blue, green, and purple melting into each other like an abstract painting. Ji-Yong blinked at his reflection in the mirror, running a hand through the strands.

“Sooo, what do you think?” you asked eagerly, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

A slow smile spread across his face. “It’s perfect. You know me too well.” He turned to press a quick kiss to your lips.

You gasped. “Noo, you got hair dye on my face! Now I’m going to be stained green.”

Ji-Yong laughed, completely unapologetic. “It suits you.”

You huffed, rubbing your cheek dramatically. But before you could complain further, he hesitated, glancing at the leftover dye on the counter.

“Actually, I was wondering… Since we have extra bleach and colors… would you like to match with me?”

You froze. The idea was tempting—but then reality set in.

“Ji, I have an office job,” you reminded him. “I don’t think my boss will be thrilled if I show up looking like a human highlighter.”

He pouted. “Just this once? For old times’ sake?”

Damn him. Damn those pleading eyes.

You sighed, shaking your head with a fond smile. “Fine. But if I get fired, you owe me a lifetime supply of ice cream.”

His grin was immediate. “Deal.”

And so, an hour later, your own hair had undergone a similar transformation. Bright streaks of pink, blue, and purple now wove through your strands, blending into a colorful masterpiece that mirrored Ji-Yong’s.

“Now we really look like a power couple,” he mused, admiring your reflection in the mirror.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your smile. “We’ve always been a power couple.”

The two of you spent the next few minutes styling each other’s hair—him carefully tousling yours, you playfully running your fingers through his. Every so often, he’d steal a quick kiss, claiming it was “part of the process.”

When you finally finished, you snapped a picture together—Ji-Yong pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as you smiled at the camera.

You posted it with the caption:

“Some things never change, huh?”

Tomorrow, you’d deal with your boss’s reaction. Tomorrow, you’d worry about professionalism and consequences.

But tonight, you were just happy to fall asleep in your boyfriend’s arms, tangled together in the warmth of familiarity, in a love that had endured years of chaos and change.

Because some things really never did change.

[yandere-sins]

Yan-Poll #31

[Continuation of Poll #24]

"I'm home!"

Your captor's voice sounded unusually chipper after a long day at work. Taking a sip from your cup of tea, you barely hummed in acknowledgment, despite knowing that the peace and quiet you had enjoyed reading your book would be over now. Now, it was time for the usual song and dance, where they'd do their best to make you show them any kind of affection and attention while you simply tried to ignore them without pushing your luck.

The shuffling in the hallway went on for a while as they took off their coat, but instead of coming to see you right away, you heard their footsteps reach an abrupt stop—and you could guess why. You had left everything like it was before for them to find. The computer on standby, the lights in your captor's office out, and the door slightly ajar. It was only a question of who-staged-it-better, and whose suspicions would be confirmed in the end.

"Have you been to my office?" they asked, standing in the doorway to the living room. You barely looked up from your book despite already having lost the sentences you read last and just pretending to be busy.

"Hm? Oh, I saw you left the door open, but I thought you just forgot to lock it, so I left it that way."

Feeling their body move behind you, you tried your best to stay nonchalant and uninterested. However, the tension affected you, causing your pulse to rise and your body to cramp up. You took another sip of your cup, watching their expressionless face in the reflection of your drink. Your captor's weight leaned onto the backrest, shifting you slightly backward, but even so, you pretended not to care. Not even their hand brushing through your hair, playing with the ends, and rubbing them between their fingers made you falter.

"So you didn't go in?"

"Nope," you replied, popping the p deliberately. "What's for dinner?"

"Weren't you curious at all?"

"Should I? I thought it was an office. The last thing I want to waste time on is papers and documents. How about we order some of those fried vegetables we had last week? I am craving the garlic dip they came with."

"If I go up to the computer, I won't find any signs of you tampering with it?"

Taking a deep breath, you let it out slowly, trying to sound annoyed and disappointed in your captor that he'd keep accusing you. The truth was, you needed a few extra seconds to think carefully about what you were about to say. Because you had gone there. You unlocked the computer, even though you decided not to continue using it at the last second, and locked it again immediately.

Technically, there should be no evidence that you were on it. Unless your captor burst out his detective set to find your fingerprints, they wouldn't know you touched the PC. You only barely listened when they told you about their job. Still, you knew they didn't work in a tech-savvy field. You doubted they had much experience with which they could detect you logging in and out of their computer very quickly.

Still, telling the truth before they found out what you did could grant you some mercy... or it would result in punishment regardless of whether they found out or not. But not telling them, only to fall for the trap, seemed just as dangerous. You contemplated, seconds passing by. There was not much you could do other than decide right there and then.

(Reasoning and discussions welcome! ♥)

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + thirty three

authors note: last chapter before shit starts to hit the fan....

cw/tw: fluff and angst

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

cast+ masterlist +story playlist + taglist request form

words: 16k (diabolical)

“Baby!” The sound of Solana’s voice somehow travels through the space of their massive home and reaches the ears of Roman right as he’s finished yet another bench press. “I’m home!”

Naturally, Dulce, who’d been calmly laying on the padded mat watching him workout, lifts her head. Her ears perk up and her tail wags at hearing the voice of her favorite person in the whole world.

Roman chuckles, taking the towel to wipe off the sheen of sweat on his forehead. “Mom’s home.”

Dulce barks in celebration and runs out said room before turning back around, standing in the doorway, clearly waiting for him. She barks again as he wraps the towel around the back of his neck. He’s obviously taking too long. “I’m coming,” is his response. Roman allows his pet to guide him through the turns and hallways of their palatial home until they reach the living room where Solana is walking in while holding a grocery bag.

Naturally, Roman rushes over to her, relieving her of the bag. “I told you I don’t want you lifting on things, Sol.” He places the bag that only has a pack of napkins in it on the counter, seeing security carrying in the rest of the bags. 

“It’s just one bag, Ro,” she defends, crouching down to pet Dulce. Smiling, Solana stands up and walks over to him, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he responds, hand on her hip. Prepared to ask how she’s feeling, Roman is momentarily distracted in realizing security is still bringing in groceries, their counters and island filled with brown paper bags. “Sol….how much food did you get?”

She looks around and then back at him. “The usual.”

His bushy brow lifts. “This is the usual?” He knows it’s not, solely because he usually goes grocery shopping with her these days and only didn’t today because she’d snuck out their bed early in the morning to do so on her own.

She shrugs. “Okay, maybe….maybe a little more than the usual.” He’d argue it’s a lot more than that. “But, baby, you eat a lot.” One suggestive look, and she’s blushing, slapping his chest. “Stop it.” He chuckles and kisses her temple. She’s so easily flustered sometimes. “I just—I had to get more, because I’m gonna cook you up some meals for while I’m gone.”

Roman sighs. “Sol….”

“I got you some of your favorite snacks, too,” she shares, walking away to start emptying bags. He moves to stand beside her, assisting as she shows him all of his guilty pleasures, the things that make him have to spend a little extra time in the gym. All worth it though.

Solana is loading up the drawer in the fridge with his favorite yogurts she’d also purchased when he pulls something from the bag he was emptying. “Sol….” She turns to look at him, to see the item in his hand. “What is this?”

She gasps, almost happily. “Your new vitamins.”

Naturally, he’s scowling. “Vitamins?” Roman briefly reads the writing on the bottle. One-A-Day for Men. “I don’t take vitamins.”

“Well, you’re gonna start.” She answers so matter-of-factly, closing the fridge door, arms crossed. “I was talking to Dr. Michaels—”

“Since when do you talk to him?”

“We do weekly check-ins,” she shares casually, explaining, “I let him know how you’re doing and if you’re taking your meds, and he lets me know if you’re attending appointments and getting your blood work checked like you should.”

Roman is partially surprised, but he shouldn't be. He shouldn’t be, because he freely sighed an ROI for his wife to communicate with Michaels regarding his care. Something that felt only right in the name of wanting to be more open with her, but right now, it’s seeming like it’s biting him in the ass just a bit.

“And he told me that he’s been trying to get you to take vitamins for years.

“He has.” Roman won’t deny that. It’s the truth. “And for years, I’ve been ignoring his ass.”

Solana frowns. “Well, not anymore.” She announces, walking over to him and pointing to the benefits listed on the packaging. “Dr. Michaels said this is the best brand for you, and it’s only once a day, so you can take it when you take your blood pressure medication.”

Roman scratches his beard, reminding calmly, “Solana, you know I don’t like taking pills.”

“Yes, but I also know that you need to,” she counters, crossing her arms. “Lots of people take vitamins. I take them. Well, now I take my prenatals, but before that, I took a daily supplement.”

“That’s different, Sol.”

“How?” She presses, scowling a bit. “How is it different?”

“You’re pregnant. You have to take that shit,” he answers, placing the bottle back in the bag. “I don’t have to take anything.”

Roman prepares to move to another bag when Solana reaches past him and pulls the bottle right back out. “Roman, you are taking these pills.”

He’s taken back by both the conviction in her voice and the determination written all over her face. “Solana, I don’t want—”

“Roman Tamasa Reigns, I don’t care what you want,” she cuts him off, the Tribal Chief’s eyes widening ever so softly as she uses his full name for the first time ever as well as the quick, rushed, wordy rant she goes on in Spanish before closing her eyes. Solana takes a deep breath, switching back to English and handing him the bottle. “You are taking these vitamins, okay?”

It’s a strange thing. Roman has experienced many sides of his wife. Anxious Solana. Scared Solana. Depressed Solana. 

Suicidal Solana.

But, he can’t say he’s ever seen an angry Solana, and she’s most definitely angry.

It’s why he wordlessly accepts the bottle, not wanting to say anything to further upset her. He just places it on the counter and goes back to emptying bags when he hears it. 

A sniffle.

Turning back to her, Roman is once again taken back. 

Why the fuck is she crying? Wasn’t she just angry with him? What the fuck is even happening right now?

“Baby–” He goes to reach for her to comfort her, though he’s not quite sure just what he’s comforting her for, cause again, why is she even crying right now? “I’m sor—”

“I went to the grocery store, and I got all these—these groceries for you—” She hiccups, motioning around their big kitchen. “And you can’t even do this one thing for me.” She breaks down crying into her hands, and God forgive him, but Roman’s first reaction isn’t to tuck her into him and console her.

His first instinct is what the fuck because she was literally just upset with him, and now she’s crying over some damn vitamins?

The fuck?

Regardless of being confused as all the outdoors, Roman welcomes her into his chest, apologizing, “I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“You don’t care,” she cries into him.

“I do care, Solana,” he tries to save face, though not sure just how she became so upset so quickly. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“I’m just trying to help you,” she cries heavier, and as awful as Roman feels about it, he’s having a hard time taking her serious. Roman has held his wife as she cried into him, sobbed into him so violently that her body jolted from the intensity. 

This….this feels different.

It is different.

An overreaction, but that’s uncharacteristic for her personality. Something that doesn’t define her, but it’s absolutely what’s happening right now. Regardless, her crying, overreaction or not, is something he doesn’t like, so he has to make it right.

“I know you are, Sol, and I’m sorry.” She sniffles, coming down a bit. It’s then he offers, “I’ll—I’ll take the vitamins, okay?” Anything to just get her to stop. “Alright?”

She looks up at him, pouting almost. “You promise?”

No. “Yes.” 

More sniffling as he wipes away her tears. “Okay.” More sniffling as she hiccups, “I think—I think I’m gonna go lay down.”

“Yes,” he says it much too quickly, way too eager for her to just go…..calm down or something. “Go take a nap. I’ll finish putting everything away.”

“Okay.” She nods, walking over and picking up Dulce who Roman swears looks just as confused as he feels. “Come on, baby.”

Roman waits until Solana is out of the kitchen and up the stairs before leaning back against the kitchen counter, lost as fuck over what just happened. 

—------

“And then she just started crying.” Roman’s retelling is borderline dramatic as he sits forward on the sofa, legs spread, hand gestures included with his storytelling.

Lita lifts a brow. “Crying?”

“Yes.”

She makes a sound, asking, “so what’d you do?”

“I told her I would take the vitamins, and it seemed to calm her down, then she went for a nap.” Roman slaps his hands on his thighs, leaning back. “But, then I went upstairs a little while later, and she wanted to have sex.”

“Did you?”

“Of course.” An easy answer that’s always the same. “But, I don’t understand how she went from being upset with me, to being sad and crying, to being horny and wanting to fuck.” Roman crosses his arms, a thought crossing his mind. “Maybe it’s her medication. She might need an adjustment.” He looks at Lita, asking, “you think I should talk to Stratus?”

Lita takes a breath, trying to figure out how to word her response for what’s inarguably been her most challenging yet interesting client ever. “Roman, how much do you know about pregnancy? About pregnant women?”

“I know a couple things.” There’s an almost insulting tone to his voice, like he’s confused as to why she would even ask him such a thing. “Why?”

Lita sucks her teeth. “Cause I think it’s time you read up on what pregnancy does to women in all areas. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.” She shrugs, sharing, “what you’re describing is pretty typical for pregnant women sometimes. The hormonal changes that occur often result in mood swings. That’s what that was. She was having a mood swing.”

At that, the Tribal Chief sits forward once more. “You’re telling me that shit was normal?”

Lita chuckles. “Pretty much.”

Roman looks off, like his whole world has been turned upside down. Like he was expecting any other answer than what he’s been given. “Well, when does it stop?”

“When is she due?”

“May,” he answers, a small sense of pride laid underneath his tone. 

Lita senses it but tucks it away for a later time. “Then, May.”

Once more, his eyes are widening. “You mean she’s going to be this way until she gives birth?”

Lita has to hold back her laughter as she takes some more notes while explaining, “nine times out of ten, the mood swings will eventually subside, but I think you’re better served learning how to effectively communicate with her and respond to her when she gets that way versus waiting around for her hormones to level out.” 

“What do you mean?”

Lita sighs. “It’s obvious that you were bothered by the abrupt changes in her mood.”

The sneer on his face is accompanied by a harsh rebuff. “I wasn’t bothered.”

“Then why are we discussing it right now?” Silence. Lita also sits forward, deciding to share some of the man tidbits she’s noticed about Roman in their time working together. “I’ve noticed you are very against saying anything that could be perceived as remotely negative or, God forbid, someone else saying anything remotely negative about your wife.” Lita has a good guess Roman’s response would be physical in the event of that second one. “And I know, a lot of that comes from how protective you are of her. Some of that codependency as well. But, two truths can exist in the same universe where she’s allowed to say or do something that upsets or bothers you and you can bring it to her attention. It doesn’t make you a bad husband.” 

Roman’s gaze and focus is on the wall to the side of him instead of the woman in front of him. “I don’t want to argue with her. She has….trauma with that.”

“And, I understand that, but you also have trauma. Whether you want to admit it or not is fine, I’ll respect that. Wholly. But, part of your struggle is opening up about your feelings with people, which again, I know is not for good reason, though it’s painfully obvious that your wife is a safe person for you, so if you were to open up to someone, it would be her.” More silence. “And discussion doesn’t have to equate an argument.”

When he still says nothing, Lita continues, “and yes, know that you have problems controlling your temper, but I also know that if there’s one person you’d control it with, it’s your wife.”

She'd bet her life on that.

“I don’t want to be put in that position,” Roman finally speaks, voice even but also filled with something almost heavy. “They last time we argued…..” he trails off, a memory returning. “It just wasn’t good. She doesn’t need that stress with her pregnancy.”

Lita looks at him, makes note of his nonverbals, sees that this wall will take a little longer to chip away at. 

“How are you doing with that anyway?” He looks at her, prompting her to clarify. “The pregnancy. You haven’t really touched on it in our past two sessions.”

Roman thinks about her question, considers how he wants to answer and how honest he wants to be. “I think….I think it’s getting….better.”

“Better, how?”

Again, more thinking. “I don’t….I don’t feel as unsure about it.” 

Lita nods slowly, tentatively questioning, “what do you feel?” To cut some of the tension, she gestures with her thumb. “You want the feeling wheel?”

Roman instantly scowls. “I’m not using that damn thing.” Lita chuckles, and though he won’t admit it, he appreciates it. Appreciates her trying to make this a little less uncomfortable. “I don’t….I don’t want to say excited.” And maybe he does, but something holds him back, prevents him from owning that. “But, something….something like that.”

Lita adjusts in her seat, paraphrasing. “The idea of being a father is becoming less abstract and more concrete.” She shrugs, offering, “it’s starting to feel more real, because it is real.”

Lita’s right. Roman won’t verbally acknowledge it, but she’s correct. Every appointment he attends with Solana, every time he opens up the app to see where she is, where the girls are, developmentally speaking, makes it all the more real. 

And while there’s a part of that that’s terrifying as fuck, because he’s still lost on so many things and has so much to learn, there’s still that part of him that doesn’t feel as unsure, like he said. He feels a form of excitement. 

He is excited.

“Yeah,” is all he offers, though something tells him Lita has a good mind where his head is, because despite her being annoying as fuck sometimes with her probing questions that end up landing him right where she wants him, she’s effective. And, they work well together. 

She meets him where he is, and he’s grateful for that.

Doesn’t mean he’s just gonna spill his heart out to her. No. Fuck that. He’ll share as and when he pleases.

“She’s three months, right?”

“Yeah,” Roman answers and starts to leave it at that, but some small part of him, a part he doesn’t quite understand, offers. “Twins….twin girls.”

At that, Lita’s eyes widen. “Well, shit, double trouble? And girls, too?” She scoffs, grabbing her Stanley to take a sip. “Yeah, buddy, you might want to start reading up now.”

Roman scowls. “What do you mean?”

“You’re struggling as it is with your wife’s mood swings while pregnant, just wait till those girls hit puberty and wifey is either pregnant again, so you’re getting it from all ends.”

That sounds like something out of a nightmare, but there’s something else about her wording that he’s focused on.

Almost suspicious, Roman inquires, “did she tell you about all these kids she wants?”

“Wait, what?” Lita’s visible confusion at his question looks and feels authentic, Roman not getting a sense that she’s playing dumb. “You know my policy, I don’t talk to anyone unless you authorize it. Even wifey.” He does recall her saying that, but he also knows he signed an ROI so she could share information with Solana, and since his wife seems to be in cahoots with his doctor, why not the therapist as well? “She wants more kids after this?”

Roman nods, crossing his arms once more. “Three more.”

Lita’s eyes widen. “She wants how many more?”

Roman pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s what I fucking said.”

Lita nods to herself, shrugging, “well….that woman clearly loves you.” She then asks, “what about you?”

“What about me?”

Without skipping a beat, she asks directly, “do you want more kids after this?”

A fair thing to be asked, but something Roman, in true Roman fashion, answers almost indirectly. Sort of. “I think we should be focusing on this pregnancy before talking about more kids.”

“You know that’s not what I asked you, right?” Yes, he absolutely does. If only he cared. “Look….it’s okay for you to not have an answer, but based on what you’ve shared with me in the past regarding your thoughts and feelings on kids, if I had to take a guess, I’d say you’re sca—”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Roman’s interruption cuts deep, his entire disposition almost doing a 180. Like whatever almost lighthearted tone that was there before is gone now. Replaced with something almost cold. “Change the subject. Now.”

And Lita sees this, sees the shifts, knows why said shift happens, but she respects it. Respects him. Respects that he’s not ready to go there just yet. “Okay.” And she does change the subject, asking, “any plans for while the wife is away?”

—-------

“Okay, I labeled everything for you. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, and dessert,” Solana’s explanation is accompanied by her holding the refrigerator door open as she points to the generous amount of clear containers. She pulls one out that, sure enough, reads breakfast. “You just have to see which one you want.” She gasps, bumping the door closed as she moves over to the other side of the kitchen. “I should have labeled what each meal is.”

“Solana, it’s fine. I don’t need all that.”

She’s not listening, too busy using the sharpie she grabbed out of the pen holder on the counter to label the container in her hand. “I’ll do it before we leave. I don’t want you accidentally picking something thinking it’s something else.”

“Sol—”

“I also picked up your blood pressure medicine from the pharmacy this morning, cause you were running low, so you should be good with your meds.” She looks up, adding firmly, “and your vitamins.” Roman pushes back his scowl. Those damn vitamins. “And if for some reason, you get through all the meals in the fridge, I have some in the freezer as well.”

“Solana—”

“Dulce should be good with her food, too, but I did pick her up some of those treats she likes, so maybe give her one with her dinner once or twice?” The question is more informative than anything as Solana moves back over to the fridge to grab another container that she doesn’t need to label. “Oh my gosh,” she stops, slapping her forehead. “I forgot to do that last load of laundry for you.” She shakes her head, placing the bowl and pen on the counter. “Let me just go do that right—”

Roman moves quickly, using his arm to block her path, forcing her to finally look at and listen to him. “Solana.” Her attention on him, he doesn’t waste this opportunity to point out the real reason behind her almost frantic-like behavior. “I’ll be fine.”

He sees it. The concern that flashes in her gaze and how her shoulders drop. “I just…..I just want to make sure you’re okay while I’m gone.” Her hands on his chest, the truth continues to make itself known. “I haven’t been away from you since….” She doesn’t say it, but she doesn’t need to.

Since Fetu passed.

Solana has been with him, by his side, supporting and loving him x10 since Fetu passed. 

“I know,” he mutters, reaching up to push some of her hair back, eyes briefly focused on her tattoo. “But, I’ll be fine, Sol. I can take care of myself. I’ve done it for a long time.”

“But, you don’t have to anymore,” she counters, softly. “You have me. I—I can take care of you. I can make sure you’re good.”

“And, I am, Sol. Largely because of you.” He kisses her forehead, reminding, “but you also have to take care of yourself. That’s why I’m letting you go.”

Letting her doesn’t feel like the right word, but in the moment, it’s the best he has. Because he would never want her to feel like she needs his permission to do anything in life. She’s had enough of that shit from men to last her a lifetime, but there is some say he has with her comings and goings due to her being pregnant with their children.

For safety reasons, he has to have a say.

“I know,” she murmurs, moving to hug him. “I’ll only be gone a couple days.”

Roman doesn’t say anything, but a part of him, the selfless part of him hopes it’s longer than that. Solely because of the other plan she has for while she’s in Mexico on her “girls trip.”

Paloma.

She plans to tell Paloma who she really is.

And from that, Roman hopes she gets to spend time with the closest living, remaining connection she has to her mother.

Solana deserves that. 

Especially…..especially if she ends up having to go and/or stay even longer for a different reason.

A very different reason.

“I know.” He’ll play along. Go with what’s needed to make her feel most comfortable. Roman wraps his arms around her, reiterating, “we’ll be fine.” He looks over at Dulce who lays in her bed in the living room—she must have one in every damn room at this point—sleeping peacefully. “She’ll probably sleep the whole damn time anyway.”

Solana giggles into him and slaps his arm. “Stop it.” 

Roman holds her for a couple more minutes before realizing time is not on their side, and they need to get moving. “Come on.” He lightly slaps and squeezes her ass, invoking another giggle. It makes him smile a little. “We gotta be out of here soon.”

At that, she steps away, frowning. “Why do we have to leave again so early? I told the girls to be at the airport around 2”

Roman’s answer is right away, even if it’s something he comes up with on the spot. “I’m not trying to be around your annoying ass friends, Solana.” 

As expected, she rolls her eyes, protesting lightly, “Roman, my friends aren’t annoying, and Bayley, even Melina, are technically family.”

“Don’t remind me,” he mutters, following her as she leads them upstairs.

Solana being Solana absolutely makes sure to start up that last load of laundry. She also goes through at least two more lists of unnecessary things she did for him to “help” him out while she’s gone. And while Roman does consider it unnecessary, he’s appreciative. 

Appreciative of her and all she does for him, all that she is for him. 

“What about this?” Solana asks him as they sit in the back of the SUV, on the way to the airport. It’s a design option for kitchen counters. A beautiful, unique granite.

“It’s nice,” he responds. “But, Sol, you already know I don’t care what goes in the kitchen. It’s whatever you want.”

She looks up at him. “I know, but this house is for us, so your input matters, too, Ro.”

He doesn’t disagree, though there’s certain parts about said house they plan to build that he wouldn’t mind being for just her. Like the kitchen, cause Lord knows he’ll never be in there cooking and baking like she does. “The kitchen is your space though. Now our bedroom, yeah, I want some say.”

A crafty smile forms on her pretty face. “So, you don’t want to paint it pink?”

“Solana, don’t fucking play with me like that,” he mutters, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She giggles and leans further back into him, clearly finding humor in his distress. “It’s bad enough you keep talking about all these damn kids you want.”

“That I’m going to have,” she corrects, like that shit is supposed to make sense. Like he’s supposed to be okay with this plan she has to be pregnant every year or something. 

“Solana.” He has to talk some sense into this girl. Is this another pregnancy thing? He makes a note to ask Lita about it in their next session. “I need you to be serious with me. Do you know how stressful it would be to have five children?”

Massively, insanely stressful, for maybe more reasons than he's willing to currently acknowledge...

She pouts and responds so casually. “It wouldn’t always be stressful.” She turns more to look at him, hand resting comfortably on his abs. “And, if we’re going to have this massive house, we need to fill it up….”

“With furniture,” he supplies. “We can fill it up with furniture. Not a bunch of kids.”

That’s clearly not the answer she wants, as evidenced by the scowl on her face. “I want more kids, Roman.”

“And, I told you we can have one more after the girls, but anything beyond that, Solana—”

“I’m getting my kids, Ro, and that’s final.” Solana not only cutting him off, but doing so with attitude is something the Tribal Chief could have and would never bet on, but that’s exactly what’s happened. His sassy ass wife redirects her attention back to her scrolling on that red app she likes that has a lot of pictures and proceeds like she didn’t just cop an attitude. 

“Solana,” he finds himself saying, sitting up a bit. “You—”

“We’ll talk about it later.” Another interruption. Less sassy. Still an interruption, nonetheless. 

There’s a revolving door of emotions in that moment. At first, he’s annoyed, which is significantly tamer than what he’d feel if this was anyone else speaking to him this way. Roman’s killed for lesser offenses.

Then there’s slight amusement, because his 5’0 wife hitting him with the attitude of someone his height and stature is the last thing anyone would expect. 

Followed up with a slight tightening in his pants, because there’s something undeniably attractive about Solana being assertive. About standing on business. He might not agree with what she’s standing on, but he damn sure respects it. 

And then finally, he arrives at the largest and most lasting emotion. Proud. Roman feels proud of his wife. 

It’s still hard for him to grasp the fact that this is the woman he met all those months ago who could barely withstand more than 30 seconds of eye contact. Who was terrified of him. Terrified of the world that had only been unkind to her.

Now, she sits before him, openly going against him without any sign of anxiety or fear. And while he now knows her pregnancy hormones are playing a large role in the oscillation of her emotions, it doesn’t negate the fact that even before becoming pregnant, the Solana he knew then is not the same Solana he knows now. 

Stronger in every way. A tremendous and beautiful growth. 

Roman finds himself dipping his head to kiss her temple. “I’m proud of you,” he murmurs, finger moving up and down her upper arm. “Extremely fucking proud of you.”

And even that seems not enough to adequately describe it. 

However, the small smile on Roman’s face is wiped away when she looks up at him and asks with a mischievous smile. “Enough to have three more kids?”

“Solana.”

She laughs once more, finding delight in his misery. Roman sighs loudly as his wife leans up and strokes his beard, kissing his cheek, “thank you, mi amor.”

Roman still hasn’t really picked up much of Spanish outside a couple words, but there’s something universal about her statement. 

Love. 

The rest of the drive is relatively quiet, Solana showing Roman a few more photos of ideas she has for the kitchen when they arrive at the airport. Naturally, Roman slides his expensive sunglasses over his eyes and exits the car first so he can open Solana’s door for her.

He holds her hand as she steps out and tugs up those tight ass pants that have him forcing to ignore the recoil of her fat ass with said adjustment. The transition is aided by her confused countenance at the jet that is not the one they took last time. She turns to him with a frown. “You got a new jet?”

“I did,” he confirms, lifting his sunglasses up, setting them atop his head. “But not for me.” Solana’s eyes start to widen as he shares, “it’s for you.” 

Hands planted over her mouth, she looks in shock between himself and the private jet with pink lining, pink steps descended to reveal a glimpse of the interior that also has shades of pink. “Roman, no.”

“I don’t really like the idea of your dumbass friends in my space,” he shares, moving toward her, hands on her waist. “Plus, if I’m away on work, and you decide to fly down to Mexico, you need transportation.”

She scoffs, offering so innocently, “But, I could just book a flight, Ro.”

“That’s not fucking happening.” It’ll be a cold day in hell when Roman ever allows his wife to fly commercial. Absolutely not. 

Solana is still very much in a state of disbelief, but her smile grows wider as she exclaims with all of the shock. “I can’t believe you got me a whole private jet.” Giggles erupt from her as she suddenly throws herself into him, arms wrapped around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

It’s hard for Roman to not smile, feeling her immense love and appreciation for something that seems so simple to him. Maybe not in price, not that that’s a factor, but just how overtly grateful she is for anything he does for her. 

Her spirit is so pure. 

“You’re welcome,” he mutters, kissing her temple and lightly slapping her ass. Solana is back on the ground, looking up at him with undeniable excitement, when he asks, “you wanna see it?” Light laughter at how she nods rapidly and takes his hand, guiding him toward the jet. 

Roman feels a bit silly feeling relieved almost at how Solana “ooohs” and “awwws” at the interior of her private jet, predominantly pink and white, amenities based upon her and what he knows about her. Roman is good at a lot of things, including reading people in terms of their likes and dislikes. But, there’s always a small part of him that’s unsure of himself when it comes to doing and getting things for his wife. 

A fear of letting her down.

Of disappointing her.

Something he hasn’t felt or worried about in a long time. 

“I love it so much, Roman,” she says after they finish the tour. She’s got her arms back around his neck, that beautiful smile dimming just a bit. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay while I’m gone?”

Roman chuckles. “I’m sure. You need to do this, Sol.”

“I know,” she sighs. Roman soothingly moves his hands up and down her sides. “I just….you know I don’t like being away from you.”

He knows. The same way he doesn’t like being apart from her either, but that’s neither here nor there.

“Your life can’t revolve around me, Solana.” A gentle reminder. Necessary, too, perhaps. 

“But, you’re such a big part of my life,” she replies, voice soft, eyes focused on his shirt as she lightly pulls at the material. “Not being around you feels…..weird….wrong.” 

Roman knows Solana is codependent when it comes to him. The same way he realizes he’s codependent with her as well. But, he’s been reminded of it even more in the past few weeks with how involved she wants him in all the things, which is fine and normal, especially as it pertains to the pregnancy. But, it’s the not knowing what she would do without him that’s starting to have him concerned. 

Especially if the situation arises where she doesn’t have a choice.

He’d mentioned it to Gail, asked her to work with Solana on that, but so much has happened between now and then that he wouldn’t be surprised if they haven’t even gotten to it yet.

A disservice. Understandable, but a disservice, nonetheless. 

“Everything will be fine, Solana.” He kisses her forehead, reminding, “you already know if you need me, just call me, and I’ll be there.”

And there’s the hard part. There are times, like this, where he sees how independent and capable she’s become that he thinks she’ll be okay. Where he thinks she’ll be able to handle a separation, if necessary. But, it’s not consistent, not reliable, and that’s where his biggest issue comes to play.

Then there’s also the role he plays. Roman knows he makes himself always available to her, and in some ways, that’s also his comfort. It…..bothers him to not be available for her if she needs something. 

And if he’s being honest with himself, that largely stems from that night. The night she tried to take her own life. 

The night he wasn’t there, and she needed him.

He won’t risk that again. 

He’s terrified to risk that again.

—---------

It’s a fun time from the minute the ladies all board the jet, to the conversations that transpire, but most definitely when they all arrive to Roman and Solana’s home in Isla Mujeres. Solana considered asking Roman if they could rent something instead, as she knows how much he values their space being their space, but he shocked her by recommending they just stay at the home he purchased for them.

Her guess would be it’s because it’s not their main home, the space only being used every so often. Only once, really, since Solana’s birthday trip back in July.

“This is so nice!” Mickie shouts from the top of the stairs as she and Cameron claim a room. “I love being friends with rich people!”

Solana smiles as Afia shakes her head. “That one is interesting, for sure.”

“Very,” she giggles. One thing Solana was a bit nervous about was inviting Afia, not because she didn’t want her to attend. Hardly. What she was most nervous about was Afia not meshing well with the rest of the ladies who had already met before and vibed well enough. However, that concern was quickly squashed as Solana realized her sister-in-law’s former career of seamlessly blending in just about anywhere is a skill that’s stuck with her.

It didn’t take Afia long to join in with the rest of the gang. So much so that she’ll be sharing a room with Melina. Bayley and Naomi will be rooming together. 

Apparently, no one wanted to share a bed with Solana because, “girl, we know Roman be turning you every way but loose in that bed. We’re good.”

And while her face burned with all of the embarrassment, she couldn’t deny it. That same bed is the same bed her shackles were broken in the most beautiful, memorable manner, and in some ways, she would prefer to keep her space with her husband a space for just them. 

After everyone gets settled into their rooms, there’s almost a universal agreement that the first stop needs to be by the beach. Solana shouldn’t be surprised that arriving at said beach with her friends, via the private entrance from their house, that her husband made arrangements similar to last time to where it’s almost “reserved” just for them.

Something she understands a little bit better this time around. While Roman is not present for this trip, Bautista is, as well as her upped security detail, her husband has obviously setting up parameters to ensure her safety during her stay. For her and for their babies.

Solana feels the most grateful to have such a wonderful, protective man to call her husband.

It’s why she not only has Mickie take some photos of her adorned in her bathing suit, but she also takes some selfies of herself at the beach. Photos that she nervously shares with him, only to receive the most validating and steamy response that makes most sense for her husband. 

Roman: Fuck. 

Roman: You’re making me regret letting your fine ass leave, baby.

Solana: 🙈🙈🙈

Solana: I’ll be home before you know it, papa bear. 🥰

Roman: Not soon enough.

Roman: Send me more photos while you’re there. 

Roman: Can use them for….purposes.

Solana: Roman! 😭

Despite Solana feeling completely flustered at her husband’s dirty intentions for her photos, she absolutely makes a mental note to share any selfies taken during this trip.

And something tells her there’s going to be a fair share. 

“Oh my goodness, are you texting Roman?” Bayley asks, walking over, standing in front of the blanket that Solana is laid on top of. “Tell him to get a fucking life. You’re busy.”

Solana frowns, locking her phone and placing it beside her. “Bayley, be nice.”

She rolls her eyes. “I said I’d try. Shit takes time.”

“Leave her alone,” Mickie pouts, her and Cameron waiting for their sunscreen to set in before entering the beautiful, blue waters. “At least she has a man.”

“I thought you were talking to—”

“Fuck him!” Mickie interrupts Melina, lifting up her middle finger for dramatic effect. “That’s what I get for messing around with someone named Kevin who has a pot belly.”

“Mickie!” Cameron scolds, shaking her head. “That’s not nice. He seemed like a good guy.” 

“Yeah, I thought you liked him,” Solana chimes, remembering their conversations via group chats and group facetimes where Mickie practically raved about the guy she’s been seeing. 

“He was. Too good.” Mickie shrugs, picking at her fingers. “He wanted to settle down eventually.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Afia’s question is posed with pure curiosity versus judgment. A sort of judgment Solana only detects on the face of Naomi who’s been abnormally quiet for the whole conversation. 

Has been quiet since meeting at the airport, now that she thinks about it. 

Mickie leans back on the palm of her hands, answering with a simple, “that’s not what I’m looking for.”

“What are you looking for?” Bayley inquires, coming to sit beside Solana, tiring of standing, the sun beaming down on her back.

“I don’t know.” It’s an honest answer, something almost indecipherable flashing in Mickie’s eyes that Solana is almost sure only she, Cameron, and Melina notice. Treatment. It’s a similar look that Mickie would get when they were in treatment. When she was thinking back on something else. 

Something much darker. 

Solana clears her throat, drawing attention to herself as she suggests, “we should all take a picture together.”

“Hell yeah!” Bayley is standing up yet again, as the rest of the women also express some level of excitement for the photo.

“I’ll take em’,” Naomi offers, standing and brushing some sand off the back of her legs.

Solana frowns. “No, you have to be in them.” Solana is more than ready to ask one of the security guards to come snap photos of them to avoid anyone being left out when Naomi reiterates her offer.

“Naw, it’s fine. I’ll catch some other photos.” She shrugs, her face giving away indifference that doesn’t match who Solana has always known her to be. This doesn’t feel like the Naomi Solana has grown to know, love, and view as a sister.

Stepping forward, voice lowered, she asks, “is everything al—”

“Oh my gosh!” Mickie’s excited voice prevents Solana from penning her question, as the attention of all is redirected to the water where Mickie is pointing. “Was that—was that a dolphin?”

Her own question is answered when a dolphin can, in fact, be seen in the distance leaping in and out of the water. It draws the awes and a set of cell phones as to capture the sight before them, but it’s the way Naomi stands off to the side, texting on her phone instead of photographing, that has Solana wondering. 

What’s going on with her?

—--------

“And that was the last time I ever fucked three men in one week,” Mickie finishes, downing the rest of her beer while chuckling. “That yeast infection afterwards was not worth it.”

A round of groans, Melina being the one to express, “Mickie, literally no one needed to hear that.”

“I second that,” Bayley lifts her beer, still halfway full. “Though we appreciate the…..lesson?”

Afia nods, gracefully drinking some of her mimosa. “Yes, lesson seems like an appropriate euphemism.” 

Mickie blinks exactly three times. “Yeah, I’m too buzzed to even try to figure out what that means.”

Afia laughs a little. “Fair.”

Cameron directs her attention to Solana, lifting up the bottle of wine as she pours herself another glass. “Are you sure you don’t want some, Sol?”

“I’m good,” Solana answers, hoping and praying the change in her tone doesn’t give anything away. For good measure, she offers a true, hopefully believable excuse. “The last time I drank wasn’t…..it wasn’t a good time.”

And, while it’s not a total lie, there’s a part of Solana that’s appreciative of that night. The night that seemed to be a turning point for her relationship with Roman. She still doesn’t recall everything that was shared, on either end, but one thing she knows is that next day was the first time she truly felt like they could make this work.

Make their relationship into a real marriage, and not only have they succeeded with that, they’ve taken it a step further by moving to the next step. 

Children. 

Their love has now resulted into the creation of two beautiful lives. 

Solana has to stop herself from placing her hand on her stomach. It’s something Afia seems to notice as she intentionally draws attention to herself. “It’s probably best we don’t let her drink. You all know how that lovely husband of hers is.” 

A sound of agreement, Bayley muttering, “lovely is one way to put it.”

“Bayley…”

She lifts her hands in a defensive manner. “What? I didn’t even say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” Melina says in a sing-song voice. “Granted, I mean, it’s not like you’re entirely wrong.” As Solana gives her the same look she was giving Bayley, defends, “Solana, come on, I met that man months ago, and he still calls me Mandy.”

“He’s not good with names,” Solana murmurs.

“I don’t think he calls me anything,” Afia wonders aloud only to shrug. “Not that I care but still.” 

“Pretty sure he just calls me bitch.” Bayley shares so nonchalantly.

“I don’t think he even knows our names.” Cameron gestures between herself and Mickie. 

“Okay,” Solana cuts in, sitting up on the sofa. “I know….I know Roman can be a little….rough around the edges, but he does mean well.”

Though Solana can’t deny that she agrees with Cameron. Roman really doesn't know their names. But, that’s neither here nor there. 

“No, he doesn’t.” It’s the introduction of a new voice. Naomi. From where she sits on the love chair, almost separate from the other women who are spread among the living room. “Roman is an asshole. A selfish asshole.” 

There’s a shift in the atmosphere. Something that’s clearly palpable given the shared, almost uncomfortable expressions amongst the group of women. 

Except Naomi.

“Roman isn’t an easy person. I get that,” Solana starts, choosing her words carefully. Mindful of the fact that there’s an audience. “But, he’s still my husband.”

Something flashes across Naomi’s face. “Why can’t he be both?”

Building. There’s something that’s been building ever since the group arrived in Isla Mujeres on yesterday afternoon. Something Solana sensed when they were on the beach, as the went shopping in the markets earlier in the day, as they shared dinner at a local, popular restaurant in the evening. And, it’s reaching a head as they all sit in this space, Naomi growing restless and clearly sitting on something she needs to share.

Something Solana is eager to hear.

“Hey!” Mickie cuts in. She seems to be good at that. “You know what we should do?” Eyes focus on her, clearly eager to de-escalate the tension that’s built up and consumed the room. “That TikTok challenge I was telling ya’ll about.”

At that, Melina scoffs. “Mickie, we’re all too old for that.” 

“Speak for yourself,” she rebuffs. “I’m 25 and will keep turning 25 until I decide I’m ready to be 26.” As she hops off the sofa and starts moving the coffee table, Cameron assisting her, Solana looks back over to see Naomi has gotten up and headed out back by the pool. 

Bayley stands and makes eye contact with her cousin, mouthing, “let me talk to her.”

As she leaves out, Solana finds herself appreciative but also something else.

Annoyed. 

She feels annoyed with Naomi. Not only because of her sour attitude on this trip thus far but her comments about Roman. As she stated, Solana knows Roman is not an easy person to deal with. He can be mean, and he can be an asshole at times. These are all things Naomi and even Bayley have said, joked about in the past, but there was something different about this time.

This time, Solana felt an almost sense of anger coming from the other woman.

Personal. 

It felt personal, and she doesn’t like that. 

She doesn’t like it at all. 

A warm hand on her lap pulls Solana’s focus to Afia. Her sister-in-law motions to the phone beside Solana.

Naturally, she grabs it, unsurprised to see an unread text. 

Afia: Can I offer a bit of advice?

Solana: yes. of course. 

Afia: Be careful with that one. Her energy is…..off. Has been since she stepped foot on the jet. 

Afia: Remember, Solana. Not everyone you call a ‘friend’ is actually your friend.

Solana doesn't reply after that, too busy sitting on Afia’s sage wisdom as well as what just transpired. It’s not something Solana didn't already know. That not everyone who claims to be a friend is actually a friend. 

But, what does one do when it’s a sister?

—-------

“I thought that Mona girl was A.” It’s a frustrated acknowledgement followed by a deep scowl as Roman turns to look at Dulce who sits on the sofa beside him. “Who the fuck is Cece?” A rhetorical question to the Pomeranian who lays her head back down and continues to stare at the screen.

Thoroughly disgusted, Roman scoops more of the popcorn in the bowl in his mouth. He grumbles, “I don’t know how your mom watches this shit.”

Roman doesn’t know just why he’s watching this shit, either. Maybe, in some weird way, it makes him feel close to Solana. Helps distract him from her lack of presence. It’s certainly not because he’s interested in this show where the parents have to be the dumbest people alive and these teenage girls sleep with grown men like shit is normal while some psychotic bitch, or bitches, make their lives a living hell. 

And yet, he’s on his second episode after finding himself needing a break from work and something mind-numbing to dull his stress levels.

This certainly does it, Roman thinks to himself.

Uninterested in yet another person who’s supposedly this ‘A,’ Roman grabs his phone, hitting the lock button on the side. And just like that, his irritation is almost instantly melted away. His lock screen photo snagging his attention and filling him with an almost warm feeling. It’s from one of Solana’s OB-GYN appointments. Dr. Sharmell moving the transducer around Solana's stomach, the doctor and his wife's heads turned, focused on the screens where he can make out two figures. Babies.

His babies.

It’s one of his favorite photos. 

Unlocking his phone, Roman navigates to his camera roll where the most recent photos are made up of his wife. Photos and videos she’s shared with him from her trip. A trip she seems to be enjoying the hell out of based on the smile on her pretty face and the joyful laughter that leaves her in most of the videos. 

Roman’s happy. Happy to know that despite her reservations about leaving, she’s having a good time. She deserves that. She deserves the world. 

He’s about to send her a quick text, just to check in on her when the doorbell ringing pulls his focus.

Roman is instantly scowling. He glances at the time in the corner of the screen. Who the fuck is at his house at damn near 6pm?

Dulce is also intrigued, lifting her head and jumping off the sofa. Little body moving towards the door, she stops and turns around to bark at him.

“Coming,” he grunts, sitting up and grabbing the remote to hit pause. Not that it matters. The show is a shitshow anyway. 

Big body carrying him to the front door, Roman doesn’t bother using the peephole, already knowing his security protocol is to only allow Bloodline members through the gate. 

But, it’s when he opens the door that his frown deepens. 

“What the hell are ya’ll doing here?”

Roman doesn’t receive an answer. He instead receives his cousin Ava, walking past him, in his house, uninvited. “Dulce!”

Dulce barks and excitedly wags her tail as Ava picks her up and starts cuddling her. “You are just the cutest lil thing, oh yes you are.”

Roman doesn’t even have time to process his traitorous dog not barking at these damn intruders, because Dwayne is also walking in, slapping him on his back, lifting the six pack of beers in his other hand.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t come empty handed, brotha.”

However, Roman couldn’t give two shits about that. “I’m trying to figure out why ya’ll are here at all.”

Once more, he is deprived of an answer as Dwayne and Ava descend deeper into the house when another entrant arrives. More than one.

Roman’s eyes widen slightly, as he’s forced to look all the way down to two tiny, almost identical humans looking up at him with almost the same surprised, almost familiar expressions. Like he’s seen them before, but where? 

He turns, thankful to see Dwayne is still in the vicinity. Pointing down, Roman asks, needing answers, “what are these?”

But, it’s not Dwayne who answers. “These are my sons, Roman.” The Tribal Chief turns to see yet another uninvited person standing in his doorway. But, Matteo isn’t alone. He’s holding a little girl who shares the same complexion and eyes as her brother, an almost intense gaze set on him. Matteo kisses the little girl’s temple. “And this is my daughter.”

Matteo suddenly reminds, “I suppose I didn’t get a chance to properly introduce you to them at the restaurant that night.”

It’s only when Matteo says as such that Roman remembers he most definitely has seen and, somewhat, met these children before. 

His biological nephews and niece. 

He won’t say it, would never admit it aloud, but there is a sense of shame that fills him at not remembering, because it feels like something he should have remembered.

Right?

Still trying to process the fact that all these people are at and in his house, along with this possibly problematic forgetting, Roman is only partially paying attention when Matteo transitions to name offering. “That’s Giovanni. We call him Gio. And Nino. He likes being called Nio.” A small smile appears on his face as he looks at the still staring little girl. “And this is Hassana, but we call her Sana.” Way too much information for Roman to process. “Kids, this is your cousin, Roman.” Matteo switches to Italian as both boys, almost in synchronization, offer quiet “hello’s.”

Unsure of just what to do and feeling almost pressured to respond, Roman mutters a low, “hi” and redirects his focus to the man in front of him. “What are you all doing here?”

Because, for the life of him, Roman cannot see any good, valid reason why Dwayne, Ava, Matteo and his three children have randomly popped up at his house this evening.

Matteo frowns. “Solana didn’t tell you?”

At that, Roman’s interest is intensely piqued. “Tell me what?”

“This is nice!”

And just like that, this evening has gone from strange to annoying to what the fuck.

Dulce running towards the door draws the attention of the boys whose eyes light up. “Puppy!”

Except, instead of running in terror like she did when confronted with Jey’s children, Dulce seems to bask in the gentle petting and belly rubs received by the boys. Hassana’s attention is also drawn, as she points to the dog, prompting Matteo to walk them over.

His departure paves the way for the appearance of two more faces.

“Hi there, Tribal Chief.” Sami offers a small, little wave. “Sorry to just pop up uninvited.”

“So, why did you?” Roman’s voice is significantly harsher. His technical, biological family being there is one thing, but it’s another for fucking Sami to be standing at his door. “Why are ya’ll here?”

R-Truth’s eyes widen a bit as he answers honestly, “I just came for the ride.”

Sami chuckles nervously, lifting a container of food. “I had some leftover Kibbeh, and Solana mentioned always wanting to try some, so I figured—”

“She’s not here,” Roman interrupts, going to snatch the container. “I’ll make sure she gets it.”

“Is that a puppy?” R-Truth’s voice is almost childlike as he looks past Roman to see the children still playing with Dulce. “Look at lil Toto!”

“Her name is Dulce,” Roman corrects, but it’s wasted breath, because Truth welcomes himself in Roman’s house, just like everyone else it seems, petting Dulce, asking something about Dorothy.

Whoever the fuck that is.

“Truth, come on, dude,” Sami says, the only one still respecting the Chief’s boundaries by remaining in the doorway. “We’ve gotta—”

“Sami!” Dwayne’s voice is heard again as he walks over, beer in one hand. “What’s up, man? You joining us?”

“No,” Roman answers, quickly. Cause again, what the fuck is going on. “Joining what?”

“The get-together Solana planned.”

Dwayne’s answer aligns with Matteo’s comment about Solana, prompting Roman to pull out his phone, as his older cousin welcomes Sami into the home.

Roman: Solana….what did you do?

Solana: i take it they’ve started arriving 🤭

Roman: Why the fuck are all these people in our house right now, Sol?

Solana: don’t get upset, baby, but i may have arranged a little get-together for you while i’m gone….

Roman: You did WHAT?

Solana: i didn’t want you to be alone the entire time i’m gone, ro! 😭 it’s just one night, baby, and it’s literally only ava, dwayne, and matteo. well, the kids, too, but they’re so sweet and well behaved!

Roman: Solana…

Solana: it’s one night, baby. you can handle one night, ro.

Roman: 20 minutes. They can stay for 20 minutes.

Solana: 😑

Roman: What?

Solana: at least give them an hour, roman, please.

Roman: No.

Solana: roman, please. 😭 for me? Please?

Roman: Fine. An hour.

Solana: thank you, baby. 🥰

Roman: Whatever.

Solana: 😘❤️

—--------

“Roman, baby, calm down. Just take some deep breaths.”

“I am calm.” He is most definitely not calm. Not in the slightest. “Who the fuck do they think they are? I’ll kill all of them!”

“Roman.” Solana sighs, rubbing her temples. Half an hour. It’s been almost a half hour since her husband blew up her phone for the second time tonight, causing her anxiety to spike. She thought something bad had happened at his get-together. That wasn’t the case.

Just not according to him.

The first incident was arguably the most ridiculous thing. Roman was upset, borderline petulant as he ranted about this nice local performer named Joe Hendry who the group of women laughed and interacted with as he performed at the restaurant they were chose for the evening. It was nothing but innocent singing and dancing, some of which was caught on camera. The footage shared by Bayley and Afia, prompting Roman to start texting Solana wanting to know the name of "the fucker" who was "all up" on her.

Joe was, in fact, not on her but rather interacting with the group as a whole. Not that that made a difference to her husband.

So, she had to deescalate that.

And then, there was the second round. The one she's in the middle of now.

Mickie and Bayley, unbeknownst to Solana, uploaded a video of one of the dance challenges she’d done with the girls the other night to Solana's Instagram page. The Tapout challenge, she thinks it’s called. Regardless of the name, it was the dancing, the twerking and throwing of ass she was doing that was shared to her page that has her husband on the brink of a stroke. “You can’t kill people just because they liked my video.”

“The fuck I can’t,” he protests, running his hands through his hair. “This is why I hate this social media shit.”

Right about now, Solana feels the same. “Baby, I made the video private. No one can see it anymore."

“But, they did see it, Solana, and they were liking and….commenting on it with those weird little ass picture things.”

“Emojis, Ro.” Solana closes her eyes. “They’re called emojis, honey.”

He’s dismissive, too wound up and focused on an issue that isn’t even a big issue. “Whatever they’re called, there were hearts and shit. And someone even had the fucking audacity to put a tongue. What the fuck does that even mean?”

Solana has a guess, but she’s not going to give him that supposition. He’s already upset enough. 

She decides to try to redirect the subject. “How was the get-together?”

He shoots her a look that’s more telling than any answer he could give. “The worse fucking night of my life.” Solana rolls her eyes. Her husband can be so dramatic. “All those damn people.”

“Roman, it was literally your family.”

“And?” She shakes her head. While Solana knew he wouldn’t be thrilled, she was hoping he’d get something out of it.

“You mean to tell me the entire night was awful?” And, it’s in posing that question, Solana sees it. Sees something flash in his eyes. “Did—did something happen?”

More hesitation, before he almost reluctantly answers, “I had a….talk with Matteo.”

Solana’s eyes widen. She definitely wasn’t expecting that. “Oh?” Solana shifts on the bed, wanting to give him her full, undivided attention. “How….how was that?”

Roman looks off in the distance, the difficulty he’s having in verbalizing himself evident and visible to his wife. “Wasn’t what I was expecting.” His answer is vague, borderline dismissive, and Solana is prepared to drop it, to tell him he doesn’t have to tell her anything more, when he continues in an almost low voice. “I’ll—I’ll tell you about it when you get home.”

An unexpected offer. One she’s extremely appreciative of. Not even because it’s important for her to know what happened in and with this conversation, but because it means a lot to her that her husband is willing to share that with her. She knows how hard vulnerability is for Roman, so any opportunity she has to provide that safe space for him, she’ll do it. Every single time.

“Okay,” is the answer she settles on, followed by a gentle, “you know I’m always here for you, Ro…..whatever you need.”

“I know.” A simple response and acknowledgment. 

More than enough. 

They talk for another half hour, Solana checking in on him, making sure he’s eating well, sleeping well, taking his meds. The usual. He asks about how her trip has been, any unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, ensuring she doesn’t need him for anything. Again, the usual for them.

Always looking out for each other.

And when their FaceTime call finally ends, Solana feels inclined to send him a text, reminding him once more that she’s available if he needs to talk. About anything. 

But, a soft knock at the door pulls Solana from her mid-typing. She lifts her head to see Afia standing in the doorway, wearing a soft smile, something black folded over her forearm. “Busy?”

She shakes her head, waving her head. “Not at all. Come in.”

Afia does so, closing the previously cracked door behind her. She walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. “Everything alright?”

Solana nods, a small smile on her face. “He’s fine. Just being Roman.” Looking her over, she has to ask, “are the kids okay?”

It’s always a wonderful thing to see how Afia’s face lights up whenever Solana mentions or asks about her children. “Yes. They miss me, of course, but they love their dad, so they’re managing just fine.”

Solana believes that. Believes that just as Afia is a wonderful, attentive, caring mother, Matteo is just the same as a father. She saw how the kids flocked to him at the party, boys roughhousing with their dad, while Sana laid her little head against his chest when she became tired. It’s obvious what a wonderful, close-knit family they are.

“I hope Roman and I can have what you have with your kids,” she confesses, quietly. Because, she does. Because what Solana wants more than anything for her children is for them to be happy. To give them the childhood she and Roman never got to have.

“You will,” Afia affirms. “It’ll be even better than what we have.” The reassurance ignites a warm, appreciative smile on Solana’s face when her sister-in-law hands her the black item. “Which is why I had to get this for you.” Slightly confused, Solana accepts the item. “Or maybe I should say Roman.”

Eager for clarification, Solana lifts and opens up what she realizes is a shirt. A gasp. “Afia!” Solana is instantly laughing, scoffing in disbelief. “You didn’t.”

The Nigerian woman chuckles. “I did. I saw your face light up when you saw it.” Solana continues to look at the large black shirt that reads “Real Men Make Twins” in Spanish. A shirt she’d seen when the group went out shopping earlier. “It was obvious you wanted it, but I know you couldn’t get it without drawing suspicion. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about that.”

Solana brings the shirt to her chest, hugging it, imagining Roman wearing said shirt. Wearing the shirt while holding their twin daughters. “Thank you, Afia.”

Solana reaches and hugs the other woman who murmurs into her ear, “you’re welcome.” As the two separate and Solana once again finds herself in awe over the thoughtful gesture, Afia inquires, “everything still going good?”

Nodding, the mother-to-be offers, “yes. According to my doctor, it’s only a matter of time before I start showing.” Not soon enough though, to Solana. She knows she’s pregnant, but there’s something about being able to physically see that she’s pregnant is what she’s looking forward to the most.

Afia chuckles. “You’re three months, right?” Solana nods, and Afia chuckles. “Oh, yes. Twins, too? Yes. you’ll wake up one morning and find a whole ass baby bump.”

Curious, Solana questions, “is that how it was for you?”

Afia nods. “For both my pregnancies. On a Monday, I woke up with abs. By Wednesday morning, I was showing.”

While there’s a bit of faux irritation in her voice in describing her experience, Solana finds excitement growing within her. 

She can’t wait to experience that for herself.

And with Roman, too.

Eager to pry Afia’s brain for something Solana has been thinking about the past couple weeks, as well as knowing a conversation happened between their husbands tonight, she shifts on the bed. “Hey, can I ask—”

A knock on the door interrupts the asking of said question as Solana quickly hides the shirt behind her pillow before calling out. “Come in.”

Afia turns just in time to see Naomi turn the knob and open the door. Solana is watching the whole time, so she sees the way Naomi’s small smile drops into a straight line.

Clearing her throat, Solana maintains her smile. “Hey.” She moves over on the bed and pats the spot next to her. “Come join us.”

Naomi shakes her head, that same almost negative energy that’s surrounded her the whole trip so far, permeating the atmosphere. “That’s alright.”

Afia moves to get up. “I can leave, if you’d prefer—”

“I said, that’s alright,” Naomi cuts her off, both Afia and Solana wearing partially shocked expressions by her abruptness. “Just forget it.”

As she turns to leave, there’s another turn that happens. Not literally, like Naomi’s departure from the room, but something abstract and almost metaphorical.

The knob that exists within Solana regarding her emotions. The dial between patience and impatience, and right now, Solana is leaning much toward the latter than the former.

Untangling her legs from the bed, she mutters to Afia, “I’ll be right back.”

Afia says something, but Solana isn’t listening, too focused, too frustrated, too pissed.

Moving down the hall, she’s grateful to find Naomi’s door cracked and the room void of Bayley, who’s clearly still out back by the pool with Cameron and Mickie.

Closing it behind her to secure privacy, Solana gets right to it. “Okay, what is your problem?” As Naomi stands on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed, pacing almost, Solana continues. “You’ve been off this entire trip. Distant as heck, and I’m trying to figure out why.”

Distant is a nice way to put what Solana really wants to say, the not so nice word that comes to mind remaining in the safe confines of her mind.

Naomi, however, shakes her head. “This isn’t the place.”

Solana couldn’t disagree more. “I think this is exactly the place.” Crossing her arms, she asks again, tone a bit softer. “Naomi, please….talk to me.”

That, however, seems to be the wrong thing to say. “Talk to you?” She smiles, but there’s nothing happy or comical about it. “You want me to talk to you? Why? Why should I when you’ve been damn MIA for months now?”

Solana finds herself frowning. “What–what are you talking about?”

Her head tilts back, as she moves to pinch her nose. “Solana, for months now, you’ve been acting weird. One minute, we’re hearing from you, the next, I can’t even get a text back. One minute, we’re training a couple times a week. Now, I don’t know the last time I saw you at the Warehouse. Unanswered texts then a random ass invite to dinner where all you can talk about is Roman and how you’ve been trying to help him, while also putting me in an uncomfortable position by asking me to keep secrets from Jimmy.”

“Naomi, I didn’t—”

“And then after scheduling and canceling this girls trip 5011 times, you finally have it, and you’re acting like everything’s fine and dandy when it’s not. Things are a mess right now, Solana, and in every version I’ve heard of what happened, you are the nucleus of every story.”

Solana knew something was going on with Naomi, but she could have never anticipated what she’s hearing would come out of the woman’s mouth. “What—what are you talking about?”

Another wrong thing to say. “You seriously don’t know?” Solana doesn’t have to answer, because Naomi is already onto explanations. “Roman kicked Rikishi, Jey, and Solo out of his inner circle. Demoted them all.” 

Eyes widening, Solana only has one word oscillating in her mind, a word that escapes. “What?”

“Yes,” Naomi scoffs, crossing her arms. “Whatever happened with you and Rikishi a couple months ago is something Roman clearly isn’t over, or maybe his pride is wounded—”

“Do you know what happened?” Solana finds herself asking, interrupting, irritation starting to bubble again. She doesn’t like Naomi’s almost accusatory tone. “What he tried to do?”

Naomi shakes her head and presses her fingers to her temple.  “Solana, I love you. I promise I do, but right now, I don’t care what happened, because whatever it was has spiraled into this big mess.” She blows out a breath, laying it all out. “Jey is pissed with Roman, and I have to hear about it every day since Roman has him helping me train new recruits. Jimmy hears it the most though. He’s so torn with this whole thing. Being put in a position where he feels like he has to pick between his actual brothers and the man he always viewed as a brother. He’s been so stressed out, and it’s affecting our marriage, Solana.” 

Each sentence is like a slice into Solana’s heart, because underneath Naomi’s frustration, she sees it, she feels it. The hurt.

Naomi is hurt behind it all. 

“And don’t get me wrong, Jey was wrong for that scene he pulled at the restaurant and even at your welcome home party, but Roman is wrong for taking this all so personal and responding the way he has.”

That. 

That, however, is the comment that makes Solana’s compassion dwindle just a bit.

“I didn’t know Roman had demoted them, Naomi. I—I didn’t.” She truly didn’t, and while a part of her wishes her husband had told her about this, she can understand why he didn’t. The same reason she’s prepared to point out to Naomi. “But, his hands are tied. Jey—Jey has been out of control lately. What was Roman supposed to do? He had to make a call, and he made it.”

Naomi cuts her eyes to the ceiling. “He made the wrong call though, Solana.”

“According to who?” 

“Roman is the Tribal Chief,” Solana defends, uncrossing her arms. “He did what he did because it was best for the Bloodline—”

“Roman did what was best for you, Solana!” Naomi cuts her off, voice raised, borderline a shout. Solana is quiet, still trying to process just what’s transpiring. “He felt like you were disrespected, and he couldn’t have that, so he made it about you.”

A heavy, loaded pause followed by an almost whispered question. “You–you think all this is my fault?”

It’s clear that Naomi is heedful with her answer, each word carefully chosen. “I think a lot of Roman’s decision making has been based upon what’s best for you and him, not what’s good for the Bloodline, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

But regardless of the methodical wording, it’s painfully obvious that it could all be summarized to one, telling word.

Yes.

Yes, she does think this is Solana’s fault.

Similarly, the younger woman is also careful in her wording. Finding that balance between assertive and validating. “You’re upset, and I get that. You’re allowed to be upset. It’s not fair. And, I really am so sorry that what’s happening is not only happening but affecting you and Jimmy.” All of that is just as true as the next portion of her thought-out response. “But, I will not allow you to put this on me. You know better than most people how much I struggled with blaming myself for things, so I am not going to let you bring me back to that headspace.” Tears brim in Solana's eyes for a variety of reasons, because of the small ways that she already has been taken to that space.

Glimpses of all the times blame was laid toward her. Largely from Xavier and Wesley. From the most mundane things, like breakfast not being ready on time, all the way up to being told it was her fault she was raped because she didn't "fight hard enough."

She was blamed for all the things no one should be blamed for.

Never again.

Never will she allow that to be the case.

Not even with someone she considers a sister. 

Guilt and a sense of sadness gleams in Naomi’s soft brown eyes. “Solana, I didn’t mean—”

“You should leave.”

A pregnant pause. “What?”

Solana swallows, doing her best to keep the tears at bay. “It’s obvious you feel some type of way about me right now, about Roman, and I–I have to respect that. I will, but you have to respect that I can’t have that kind of energy around me right now. It’s not fair to me or any of the other girls.”

It isn’t. Naomi’s attitude has been a thing noticed and commented on not only by herself but Afia, Mickie, and even Cameron, who normally doesn’t like to comment on things like that. And, it’s clear that said attitude isn’t going away anytime soon, because there’s a lot that needs to be discussed and worked through. None of which Solana is interested in doing right now or at any point on this trip. 

She’s got enough on her plate. 

“I’ll have Bautista make arrangements for you to use the jet to fly back in the morning—”

“Seriously, Solana?” Naomi scoffs, her face a mixture of several emotions. “You’re really doing this?”

“I don’t want to do this, Naomi.” She really doesn’t. This is the last outcome she expected when walking into this room. “But—but I can’t deal with this right now. I don’t want to.” She wipes at a tear that’s managed to escape, gliding down her cheek. “When I get back home, you and I can talk one on one, because you do deserve clarity and answers. I just….I don’t want to do it right now.”

Naomi just looks at her. “Wow.” There’s a tension and heaviness that travels through the room, settling on the walls, making itself at home, dwelling in the roots of discord that have been planted. “After everything we’ve been through, the friendship, the sisterhood we have, this is how you’re treating me?”

“Naomi.” Solana closes her eyes. It seems like this somehow becomes more and more complicated, twisted, and messy with every second that passes. “I want to figure this out with you, make things right, because you mean so much to me. You are my sister. My best friend, but I—I just need you to understand that mentally, I can’t do this right now.” Repeating of the same thing, just with elaboration and vulnerability. A certain amount of it, because what Solana really wants to say is stress is something she can’t have due to her pregnancy.

A pregnancy Naomi still doesn’t know about. 

A pregnancy, as much as it pains her to think it, Solana is somewhat happy Naomi doesn’t know about.

Because with what’s been said, the distance and tension that exists between them, Solana doesn’t know if the woman she considered, still considers to be a sister, would be happy for her. 

And, that hurts.

It hurts like hell. 

—---------

Solana feels sick, and for the first time in months, it has nothing to do with the children growing inside of her and everything to do with the past, present, and future.

She has no idea how long she’s been in the shower. Long enough for her fingers to prune and sweat to form on her forehead from the steam of the borderline scorching water. A small smile forms on her face recalling a shower she took with her husband before leaving for her trip, Roman’s scowl as he stepped in the water and cursed almost immediately from the temperature.

“Solana, what the hell? Are you trying to fucking burn us?”

It’s a memory that makes her laugh. For someone so serious, her husband might be one of the funniest people she knows.

But just as quickly as her smile was there, it’s wiped away as she’s reminded once more that that was then, and this is now. Roman isn’t here. Because she told him she didn’t need him. Told him she could do this on her own, and she can, but she can’t. A wicked dichotomy that’s resulted in nothing but overthinking and ruminating over the past few hours.

Catastrophizing, as Gail would call it. Playing out the worst case scenario, and both believing and accepting it as true. It’s exactly what she’s done. What she’s been doing. 

And to her credit, Solana does her best to utilize the techniques she’s learned in therapy when situations like this arrive, but this particular occurrence is a more challenging one, because all Solana wants to do is climb back in bed and forget about the whole thing.

And, she could. Solana knows that no one can make her do this. Roman would especially encourage her to do what feels most right to her. What she’s comfortable with. But, the reality is that what’s comfortable isn’t what’s always right. She needs to do this. Solana knows she needs to do this, but damn, is she terrified.

That’s the future concern. Then, there’s the past.

The conversation, borderline argument, with Naomi that had Solana so messed up, Bayley happened to walk by and overheard her crying in her room, prompting her cousin to come see what was wrong. Solana didn’t provide specifics, didn’t want to make Bayley feel like she was in the middle of things, but she did share that they’d had a disagreement and Naomi was leaving in the morning.

To say that situation didn’t fuck with her mentally would be a lie.

Naomi means so much to Solana. She’s a best friend and a sister, one of the first Solana has had in her entire life. It guts her to know Naomi feels the way she does and is going through what she is. That the mess with the Bloodline is now impacting her marriage with Jimmy.

Solana especially hates that. They’ve always had such a strong union, a wonderful dynamic. To know that’s not the case anymore, at least right now, is rough. 

And, then there’s the whole Bloodline dynamic. Solana had no idea Roman had dismissed and demoted the three men. He didn’t tell her, and she knows why he didn’t, doesn’t blame him, per se. But, damn, once again, something else on her husband’s plate he’s been dealing with alone. 

She hates that.

Hates that she didn’t know, even if she gets why he probably didn’t keep her in the loop.

But, still.

Eventually, after recognizing it’s only a matter of time until someone comes looking for her, Solana actually completes her shower and steps out, wrapping the towel around her body. She uses another smaller towel to clear a chunk of the mirror from the accumulated condensation, granting her a view of herself. Eyes falling to the counter where her toiletries are spread, a blush climbs up to her cheeks as she’s hit with another memory. 

Propped up on the counter, her husband’s face buried in between her legs before he carried her to their bedroom and made love to her. Her birthday trip. The days after when they’d been intimate for the first time, a door opening that Solana never intends to allow anyone to ever force her to have shut anymore.

But, as was the case with the shower memory, the recollection of a steamier encounter is no match for her anxiety, because she’s right back to overthinking. Overthinking the conversation with Naomi but especially the conversation she’s supposed to have in a matter of hours.

Right back to picturing the worst case ever when it comes to something she initially believed could go okay. And, there’s a part of her that knows this. Knows that the most realistic outcome will be okay.

So, why can’t she just focus on that instead of visions and flashes of being called a liar, screamed at, sent away, rejected?

Solana swallows the lump in the back of her throat and proceeds to carry on with her routine. Dental hygiene, styling her hair, applying deodorant and her body oils and creams. No makeup. She’s certain tears will be shed for one reason or another, and having black streaks down her face doesn’t sound like a fun time.

None of it does, but that’s a small thing that’ll only exacerbate things. 

Solana sprays her Delina perfume, a gift from Roman, on her pulse points and lightly taps her wrists together before reaching for her bra, underwear, and gray dress she’d picked. A pick she’s also now questioning, because what if it’s too revealing? Truth be told, with her large chest, anything she wears could fall into the “revealing” category, especially as she’s noticed some slight changes in her body in the past few weeks. Breast slightly bigger, hips a little wider. All symptoms of her pregnancy, certainly, but still noticeable, nonetheless.

Granted, Isla Mujeres is hot as hell, so too much clothing will certainly attract too much heat and make her sweat. Her dress is most appropriate given the weather, just maybe not the occasion. 

Frustrated with yet another issue her brain has made an issue, Solana dresses herself, unable to keep the tears at bay. Droplets sliding down her face, she rubs them away with all of the frustration growing inside of her. Try as hard as she does to push it back, Solana can’t deny the growing difficulty she’s having in not at least texting or calling her husband. 

She doesn’t need him here, per se, so she thinks, but hearing his voice, or even his reassuring messages could make a huge difference. 

But, he’s busy. She knows he’s busy, especially after what she learned last night. Roman is always busy, and yet, he always makes time for her. He’s done it a tremendous amount of times ever since learning of the pregnancy, so much so that she feels bad putting this on him as well. 

She just needs to deal with this on her own, even though she’s not alone. She’s surrounded by friends who would love and support her. But, there’s just something different about her husband. His support hits harder, feels stronger. It’s truly the balm she needs in most situations. 

Just not in this one. 

She’ll have to deal.

It’s a realization Solana begrudgingly comes to accept when she grabs her phone off the counter and opens the door to head back into her room. Except, the minute she does, that same phone she just picked up is now on the plush carpet of the master bedroom, and the tears brewing are pushed over the edge.

Solana opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Words aren’t what she wants right now. What she wants is to be in her husband’s warm embrace, and that’s exactly what she does.

Her feet quickly carry her across the room where she flings herself into Roman’s waiting arms from where he sits on the edge of their bed. The force of the collision forces him back on the bed, but she doesn’t care. She prefers it. Prefers lying atop him, his big, strong arms wrapped protectively around her as she nuzzles her face into his neck.

This was the last thing Solana expected. For Roman to be here, to surprise her by popping up in Mexico. 

She doesn’t know why he’s here or how he even knew to come, but she doesn’t question it. Doesn’t question it at all.

Because it’s exactly what she needed.

Solana feels his warm lips pressed against her temple, the way one hand soothes along the length of her back and the other palms her ass. Placement that’s calming in a way only he can achieve. She’s clutching him, basking in the relief he brings when his deep voice rumbles in her ear. “What’s wrong, pretty girl?”

A lot. There’s a lot Solana could bring up to him right now, namely the Bloodline situation, but that’s less of a pressing issue than the one she has to face in a few hours.

One thing at a time.

A sad smile against him followed by a quiet confession. “I don’t think I can do this, Ro.” 

He sighs. “Sol…”

Solana also sighs and reluctantly shifts so she’s no longer hugging him but propped up on one elbow, other hand on his chest as she looks down at him. “What if she doesn’t believe me? Or—or rejects me?” Roman reaches his hand to brush away some of her tears. “I just….I don’t think I can handle that.”

“Solana, why would she reject you?” His question is posed with all the consideration and care. “She already likes you. Hell, she probably already loves you.”

“But, Roman….” And it’s only then, the deeply buried fear, the core belief that drives so much of Solana’s doubt and fear is revealed. “Her daughter’s dead because….because of me.” She closes her eyes, biting down on her bottom lip to try to contain the second set of tears. “What….what if she blames me?”

It’s a scary but true thing to admit aloud, to verbally express something she herself struggled with for years. Blaming herself for her mother’s murder, and while Solana is still trying to work through, largely with therapy, her now confusing feelings toward her mother, the fact of what happened and how it’s impacted her remains unchanged.

It’s still and will probably always be something she has a bit of self-blame about. 

A sort of blame she fears she’ll receive from Paloma.

“Solana…” Roman sits up and adjusts them, tugging her onto his lap so she’s straddling him, hands on her hips. “You were a child. Do you honestly think she will blame you for what happened?” He doesn’t offer time for her to answer, transitioning to his next set of questions. “That she’d be upset to find out that she has a granddaughter? That she has some living, remaining connection to her daughter?” One of Roman’s hands shifts to Solana’s stomach, moving in small circles. “That she’s going to be angry at finding out you’re going to make her a great-grandmother?” 

As always, his words and nonverbal gestures are comforting and soothing, dwindling down her anxiety. “She already loves you. This isn’t going to change that. If anything, it might make it stronger.” 

The explanation is effective, chipping away and dismantling her fears, replacing it with something similar to confidence. Most logical outcome trumping worst case scanrios. 

“You’re right,” she murmurs after a few minutes of mulling over all of his counterpoints. Solana closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I—I can do this.”

“Of course, you can,” he encourages, lifting her chin to bring her gaze onto him. “Do you want me to go with you?”

A part of her wants to say yes, another part wants to say no. One overpowers the other. “Yes.”

He doesn’t have to come inside, doesn’t even have to leave the car. Just having his presence right before will be enough.

Solana leans forward and hugs him, eyes shutting. “Thank you.”

His response is a kiss to her cheek and the reiteration of his mantra when it comes to her. Always. “I’ve got you.”

—---------

There's brief discussion who should accompany Solana to go see Paloma. Initially, it was going to be Bayley, but with Roman now present, as well as not wanting to give anything away before Solana can explain, it's settled that it'll just be Solana and Roman.

And, she's grateful for him. Holds his hand the entire drive there and basks in the comforting way he kisses her after helping her out of the SUV.

She's even grateful for the little nod Bautista gives her, before she moves down the stone path to the front door. He obviously doesn't know the specifics, but he knows enough to know she's about to do something important.

Something potentially life-changing and terrifying. All of which overwhelms her and slams her in the face as she nervously knocks on the door.

But, it's the minute that the door opens, Solana is immediately engulfed by a burst of warm, loving energy.

“Solana.” Paloma’s smile is wide and welcoming as she claps her hands on the apron around her waist before stepping over the mantle and welcoming her into a tight embrace. Initially, there’s discomfort on Solana’s end, not from the physical gesture but from the fact that it’s here. That she’s finally here. “It’s so good to see you, child.”

The second introductory statement pushes down some of the anxiety, Solana able to lean into the embrace, accepting it, allowing the energy to transfer over to her.

Paloma squeezes her once more before stepping back, surveying her almost. “Look at your hair.” She reaches for the ends, complimenting, “you look good, Solana.”

“Thank you,” is Solana’s quiet response, as Paloma looks over her shoulder.

“Is he….”

Solana does the same, seeing Roman leaning back against the SUV, dark shades covering his eyes, muscled arms crossed. Waiting. He’s waiting for her signal. A sign that she’s okay.

And, she gives him that, gives him that nod of approval. Roman gives her a small nod as well, moving to talk to Bautista who stands a few feet away and will remain with her, patrolling the outside premises with her security detail.

“No,” Solana finally answers, turning back to Paloma. “Not—not this time.”

Because, if this doesn’t go horribly wrong, Solana is hoping for more interaction between her husband and the woman who is her biological grandmother.

Even if Paloma doesn’t know it just yet.

Being inside of Paloma’s home is….it’s an experience. It’s an experience, because judging by the wear and tear on some of the walls, the almost dated styling of the hacienda home, Solana would guess that she’s lived here for some time. 

Long enough to raise a family. 

Or at the very least, a child. 

A child who grew up to be a woman. A woman who had her own children, Solana being one of those children.

“Tea?” Paloma holds up the teapot from where she stands by the stove in her kitchen. Small, warm tones, floral designs and a welcoming atmosphere. Much like the rest of her home.

Solana offers a polite decline. “No thank you.” She starts to ask what the tea is but ultimately decides against it, not wanting to risk anything. “Thank—thank you for having me.”

Paloma gives her a look. “Child, please. I’ve been waiting for this.” Paloma prepares her own cup of tea, adding just a bit of honey and a pinch of spices. “I’ve been worried about you.”

An expected thing. Solana knows her contact with Paloma has been abysmal since their initial meeting a few months back, and though not without good reason, it’s still something she feels bad about.

As Paloma sits down across from her, stirring her tea, she asks, gaze assessing. “How have you been?”

Such a simple question with a loaded, heavy answer. It’s not something Solana hasn’t thought about, twisted and turned in bed over, trying to settle on just how much she wanted to share of what’s transpired.

“It….it’s been a lot,” she finally answers after a minute or two of silence. “After…after I left here and went back home, some….some things happened, and I—my mental health got really bad.” Solana’s gaze falls to her lap as she pulls at the material of her dress, needing a distraction from the fluttering in her chest. Anxiety. “I—I was in the hospital and a treatment facility for a while.”

“Solana….”

“I’m better now,” she answers, eyes closing, reminding herself that where she was is far from where she is now. And, she’s never going back to that dark place. “I’m…significantly better.”

Paloma’s mug sits on the table, mostly untouched. She reaches over, placing a hand on top of Solana’s. “I’m so sorry.” Her warm eyes twinkle with concern. “I had a feeling something was going on with you. I’ve been praying for you. Praying for peace.”

“Thank you,” Solana murmurs. She’s not sure anyone’s ever said anything of the sort to her before. “I—I appreciate that. It….it means a lot to me.”

“Of course.” The older woman squeezes her hand, asking almost urgently.  “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?”

And, there it is. The moment that Solana has both dreaded and waited for for some time now. A door being opened and paving way for her to fulfill a task that she’d give anything to push off for as long as she can, even if, deep down, she knows it’s not the right thing to do. She can’t keeping avoiding the inevitable.

It’s time.

“I—” Solana takes a deep breath. I can do this. “I—I have something I need to talk to you about. Something….something I need to tell you.” Solana swallows, doing her best to remain as open and vulnerable as she can. It’s more than needed in a situation as heavy and layered as this. “And the truth….the truth is that I’m terrified about how you’re going to respond.”

Paloma gaze shifts into something almost unreadable. “Solana, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine, child. Please. Just tell me.”

So much easier said than done. Solana looks away, blowing out a deep breath. “I—I never knew a lot about my mother’s side of the family. She never….she never really spoke about them.” And now that Solana knows the full backstory, she can’t be upset with her mother for it. Other things, yes, but not that. “I—I always wondered though.” Trembling hands reach into the purse that sits in the seat next to her, pulling out two items. An envelope and a polaroid photo turned downward. “When I was—I was going through and reorganizing some of my mom’s old journals, I found a letter she wrote me….before she passed.” Her voice dips with all the emotion that still accompanies that moment when she not only found the letter but read said letter. “And, it shared a lot. So much information that I didn’t know but now know, and it’s been hard for me finding out what I did.” A lot of her sessions with Gail since then revolving around Solana processing and working through all of the information. “But, the most important thing I gained from the letter was finding out more about her, her family….my family. And….” It’s been some time since Solana has felt this anxious, the only comparison that feels most equivalent being the night Roman found out about her pregnancy and Fetu’s letter. “If….if you’d like to read the letter—”

“No,” Paloma interrupts, her voice somehow both firm and gentle. “That—that’s too personal, Solana. Your mother most likely intended it to be for your eyes only. I could never…” She trails off, caught off guard by how Solana carefully stands from her seat and moves over to her knees in front of her. “Solana, what are you—”

“Please believe me when I say I had no idea who you were when we met. I didn’t—I didn’t know the truth then, and I’m sorry for—”

“Solana.” Gentle hands move to cup her face, Solana just now realizing that she’s crying and on the verge of an anxiety attack. “What is it?”

Solana closes her eyes. It’s time.

Licking her lips, ignoring the massive weight that feels like it’s settled upon her chest, she lifts her hand, sliding the envelope and polaroid across the table in front of Paloma. Verbal directions are unnecessary as the still very confused and very concerned older woman lowers her hands from Solana’s face to take the items she’s been handed.

Solana expects her to go for the envelope first.

She doesn’t.

She lifts up the polaroid first.

And, the minute she does, a loud, almost violent gasp leaves her. One hand over her mouth, her eyes are glued to the photo, her shoulders almost trembling. Nothing is said, and the seconds that pass are filled with every bit of anxiety and tension that Solana also feels coursing through her entire body.

“Where…..” Paloma’s voice is shaky, her eyes now watering as she looks over at Solana. “Where did you get this photo?”

“I’ve always had it,” Solana is also trembling, her voice wavering. “It’s one of my favorite photos….” No greater fear has filled Solana than waiting for whatever follows the next statement that leaves her mouth. “Of my mother.”

The gasp that emits from Paloma’s mouth this time is louder, heavier, and significantly more emotional. She drops the picture onto the table, moving her hands to look at Solana, to really look at her.

Like she’s doing so for the first time.

And, in many ways, she is.

“I always thought you looked like my Alma,” Paloma cries. “But, I didn’t say anything, because after she disappeared, I almost lost my mind, and I—I saw her in every young woman, and I just thought….” She closes her eyes, crying harder. “I can’t believe after all these years…..” Another gasp, hiccupped almost request. “Please….I must know…what happened to my daughter? What did he do to her?”

And in everything Solana feared about this moment, this is the part that frightened her the most. The moment she fears will change everything in the most awful of ways.

But, the truth is something that frees, liberates, and deserves to be voiced. 

Paloma deserves to know what happened. 

“When....when I was still a child, she came up with....with a plan....” Speaking is such a trepidatious thing to to do, but somehow, someway, Solana powers through it. “She was trying….she was trying to get us out of there, to….to escape my father.” Solana will never again consider Xavier her father, but thinking back to the letter, how her mother shared he lied about his identity, she knows using the name Xavier will only be confusing. Bring about more questions. And, she will answer them. But, right now, answering the question at hand is the most important thing. “But, he—he found out—” Solana sniffles, unable to settle her tears or any of the heavy emotions that accompany this weighty moment. “And, he sent—he sent men to kill us.”

Paloma’s eyes shut. “Oh my God….”

“She died protecting me,” Solana shares, the memory of her mother’s dead body atop of her returning to the front of her mind, bringing about a fresh new set of tears. “She’s—she’s dead because of me, and I’m so sorry—” She's unable to finish her sentence, too wrecked by her sobs, head falling as she covers her face. Overwhelmed with the guilt that she feels will always lie within, dormant at times, active at others.

Never to fully go away.

Paloma moves her hands to Solana’s wrist, carefully lowering her hands as she once again cups her face. “No, child.” She shakes her head, affirming with all the conviction. “What happened was not your fault.” Words that Solana heard for the first time, in a long time, for her husband. That, in many ways, changed her life. Now being repeated again by her grandmother in yet another life changing moment. “Solana….” Her smile is sad, her soul clearly heavy, but her determination unwavering. “There exists no greater act of love for a mother than to lay down her life in order to save her child.” She wipes away Solana’s tears. “And that’s exactly what my Alma did.” Solana closes her eyes, hand falling to her stomach. “She died just as she lived.” Her voice catches. “With love.”

Love.

The emotion that’s most dominant in this moment, settling over and overpowering any trace of fear and doubt and any other negative feeling Solana expected to encounter. The rejection she expected to receive in the face of the truth.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Head falling into Paloma’s lap, Solana sobs. She sobs from the loss of her mother, from the reunification of her family, from the everything that this moment of truth has brought her, and from the love that overwhelms her. 

“My granddaughter.” Paloma leans over, crying and kissing the back of Solana’s head, holding her, cradling her with an unrelenting grip. Like she won’t let go. Like she’ll never let go. “My beautiful, beautiful, nieta….”

--------

translation:

nieta = granddaughter

[setmeatopthepyre]

mystery monday (more phosphorescence fic) part 1 | part 2 <- follows directly after this

-

“No, come on, listen. You saw him on that call, you-- you must have noticed. He wasn't okay. How was he suddenly just... fine, just a few weeks later? It was like he'd-- he'd forgotten about me, Chim.”

“Look, Buck...” Chimney is looking at him kindly, and Buck hates it. Chim jokes and doesn't take him too seriously, that's what he does, that's what Buck's used to from his brother-in-law. But this isn't joking. This is just the... the not-taking-him-seriously part. “I know this has been a really tough situation for you...”

“It-It's not because he broke my heart, alright?” Buck says, suddenly angry, frustrated, getting to his feet. “It's not. There's something wrong with him. Can't-- Can't you just, talk to him? See for yourself?”

Chimney's gotten to his feet now, too. Maybe in an attempt to even the playing field, keep Buck from towering over him, not that standing up does him much good in that regard. Buck feels a little guilty, but he can't-- he can't sit down, can't sit still right now. He begins to make his way to the kitchen. Turns. “Wait, have you talked to him at all?”

Chim crosses his arms over his chest. “Honestly? Not really. We texted a few times, right after... you know.”

“He dumped me?” Buck says flatly, feet carrying him forward. He helps himself to a glass of water.

“Yeah.” Chim says hesitantly, trails after him into the kitchen. “That. So, not recently.”

Buck can feel the way he's being watched, resolutely doesn't turn to face him yet, takes a second to let this-- this irritation subside. If Chimney would just believe him, if he'd just understand--

“Okay,” Chimney says. “Yes, fine. If you think that will help, I'll... I'll give Tommy a call. Okay?”

“Yeah?” He turns now, takes a few steps closer, trying to gauge if Chimney actually believes him, or...

“Of course,” Chim replies. “That's what brothers are for, right?” He gives Buck a pat on his shoulder, as though trying to really lay the brother thing on thick. as if Buck won't notice he's still looking at him like he's someone to be concerned about as he does it.

..

So it doesn't surprise Buck when Maddie spontaneously drops by the firehouse the next day, because she just so happened to be in the area.

“Don't listen to her, she's here for me,” Buck says with a sigh, earning him a round of raised eyebrows from everyone but Chimney, who has his best (worst) poker face on. He had cornered Chimney earlier that morning to check if he'd talked to Tommy yet, but apparently Tommy hadn't answered because he was on shift, which is fine, though Buck knows Tommy is perfectly capable of picking up the phone when he's on shift as long as he isn't actively on a call. But. Whatever. Chimney will try again later, and until then... Buck is apparently being babysat.

“I'm here for all of you,” Maddie retorts before sing-songing, “I brought fancy coffees!”

“Maddie Han, you are an angel. You should ditch your lousy husband and run away with me,” Chimney croons, accepting the cup she offers him. Buck sticks to where he's leaning against the rig, waiting for his sister to finish her little charade so she can corner him and look at him with those-- those big brown worried eyes, and tell him she knows it's tough but isn't it time he thought about moving on? He'd shot his shot, he'd texted Tommy. If he hadn't responded, then, well...

He should take the hint.

Buck knows that. He just... can't. Not when something so very clearly isn't right.

Even if he's the only one who seems to notice.

-

tag list below the cut

@fiyaerrigan @bisexualbrainrots @leashybebes @louuieferrignojr @rubydaiquiri @teabroomsandbooks @crimsonwildcat-blog @sweaters-and-silly

let me know if you wanna be added or removed :)

[moonchild9350]

Fair

summary: you and felix will be together no matter where you are in the cosmos

pairing: angel felix x gn!reader

genre: fantasy au, fluff, smut-18+MDNI

word count:1.9k

warnings: unprotected sex (don’t), creampie, use of powers?, they’re it love. that’s it (rare I know)

notes: the conclusion to my angel lixie fixation. A stand alone but once more if you want to read the others I’ve written, they’re linked below!

do not copy, translate, modify, or use this work elsewhere without my permission. ©️moonchild9350 (2025)

If you enjoyed, please comment, reblog, & like :)

divider by @strangergraphics

Your Sweet Angel | Chosen One

You awoke to bright light streaming into the room, the warm rays settling on the bed. You felt like you were floating, the blankets so soft and fluffy, enveloping you like a cloud.

You sat up and stretched, the pull on your muscles nice after lying still all night. As you sat there waking up, you heard a gentle melody drifting through the air and surrounding the small room. It was so ethereal that you felt your heart soar at the song filled with love.

You walked over to the window and gazed out to see the garden, filled with luscious greenery and beautiful flowers that were blooming as springtime has finally come. Looking around you found the source of the beautiful song, your lover who was kneeling down and inspecting the tulips.

He looked so beautiful and peaceful, surrounded by nature, his wings drifting gently in the wind. He was dressed in white silken robes, customary for angels to wear in the cosmos.

Felix is your angel, your savior, your light in the darkness. He came to you years ago and opened your heart to love, planting a seed that laid dormant for years before beginning to bloom upon his return. You returned to his home with him, wanting to spend eternity with your true love, your angel.

Smiling, you padded through the door and down the hall until you stepped outside, the warmth of the sun warming your skin. As you approached Felix, he turned to smile at you as he stood up.

“Hi my love. How did you sleep?” Felix asked as he pulled you into his embrace, his wings wrapping around your body like a blanket.

You snuggled into his chest, breathing in his scent, so soft yet strong and so him.

“Like a baby,” you sighed.

Felix hummed and continued to hold you close and rest his head on top of yours. He’s happy that you’re here with him after so many years of watching you struggle. Your happiness is his priority, has always been and if he had to break the rules of the cosmos to achieve that he will.

“Let’s take a walk,” he said as he pulled back just to grab your hand, his wings tucking into his side.

You both strolled around the garden, basking in the warm sun and listening to the birds chirping happily. You felt like the sparrows and chickadees flying around, singing their song, happy and free. Felix is your happiness, your ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

He paused for a moment and plucked a flower, tucking the stem behind your ear, smiling as admired the beauty of both you and the flower. Gently, he brushed his fingers down your cheek, watching the flesh turn pink and warm under his touch.

As you stared at Felix, you couldn’t help but admire his freckles, numerous as the stars at night or his beautiful blond hair, framing his face perfectly. You reached for his hand again and pulled him along, wanting to continue on your walk.

“What song were you humming earlier?” You inquired, peering at his face with curiosity.

“A song that we angels have sung for centuries. It brings forth prosperity and happiness to all who are around to hear it.”

You considered his words and their meaning. It was truly a beautiful song and sounded even better with Felix singing it.

“Can you sing it for me?” You asked hopefully.

Felix smiled and opened his mouth and began to sing. His voice rang out over the garden, the melody soft and sweet, and lingering in the air, promising hope and joy. You listened intently, your body feeling light as his song landed on your skin, soaking into the deepest part of you.

You became intoxicated with his voice, warmth spreading through you settling in your core, a feeling only Felix can pull out of you. Little trickles of your arousal dripped into your panties, the cloth becoming wet and sticking to your skin.

Felix sang, projecting his voice so it echoed across the garden, the birds and insects quieting to listen to his words. He could feel the effect he had on you, smell your arousal as your body and mind succumbed to him. He felt his cock fill out within his trousers, the need to be inside you on the forefront of his mind.

The sun moved across the sky, making way for the moon who was peeking out, signaling the close of yet another day. The air became chilly, the wind wrapping around your skin icily, the little hairs sticking up on your skin. Felix noticed, his heart aching as he took in your mortal body and the effects from the cold.

He ceased singing and pulled you gently back in the direction of his home.

“Time to go back love, you’re shivering.”

You simply nodded and followed him, his pace a little faster as he was eager to get you back in the warmth of his home. You encountered no creatures on your way back, as they have retired for the night, preparing for a good nights rest. However, it is the opposite for you two, your hearts beating faster, calling out to each other as your need for each other grows stronger with each step closer to home.

Once you both are back, Felix guides you quickly into the hall, pulling you down toward the bedroom you both shared. He gently grasped your hand tighter in his as he stood in front of you.

His brown eyes gazed at your face, taking in your flushed cheeks and wide eyes twinkling in the dim lighting in the room. You looked ethereal, like an angel yourself in your white gown, the fabric clinging to your curves, and letting him see every part of you that he loves.

Your breath catches as he leans down to capture your lips with his, a kiss that’s soft just as it is sweet. You try to deepen the kiss, but Felix doesn’t allow it, instead he continues to pepper you with his soft lips, kissing you like the delicate feather that you are.

Minutes pass and you feel yourself getting hotter, your chest heaving with each breath, little flutters rippling in your belly and traveling to your core. You whimper as Felix steps away a smirk plastered on his face.

His hands reach out to brush the straps of your gown down your arms, the fabric sliding off easily with little effort until it pools on the floor, your body on display for your lover. Felix smiles and his clothes disappear, your eyes roaming his toned chest until it lands on his cock, hard and leaking all for you.

He sits down on the bed, turning you to face him as he stares at your body, taking you in. His eyes drift to your breasts, your nipples pebbled from the cold air and arousal, a beautiful dusky shade against your skin. They continue their journey down your body, taking in the soft flesh of your belly down, down until he arrives at the little mound of hair he loves so much to your dripping pussy, your folds glistening with your arousal as you stand there before him.

“So beautiful,” he murmurs as he reaches out to you and pulls you down to straddle him.

You settle over him, his cock between your folds. You don’t move, don’t breathe as you run your hands down his chest, the tips of your fingers brushing against his nipples that causes him to groan and his hips to buck into you.

“Take me love, please,” Felix breathes as he gazes at you with hooded eyes.

You swallowed thickly, your hands reaching for his length and lifting your hips up, you slowly sank down, moaning as you take him to the hilt. Felix’s hands grasp your hips and guides your movements, the feel of your walls snug around him driving him insane.

His eyes travel again, watching your breasts bounce with each movement, to your pussy taking him over and over, your slick coating him and sticking to his skin as you bounce up and down.

He closes his eyes briefly before opening them again, not wanting to miss your reactions as you fuck yourself on his cock.

“Ah, Felix…hmm,” you moan as you savor the stretch, how full you feel as you grind against him.

Pleasure spreads throughout your body, nice and warm and tingly, so much so you can barely stay quiet, as you whimper and pant Felix’s name. It’s not enough however, it’s never enough when you fuck him, your mind and body wanting to become one with your lover, so close that you’re a part of his soul.

It’s like Felix can read your mind, your desperation for him as he flips you over onto your back easily before burying himself within you once more. He pushes your legs to your chest so your legs dangle over his shoulders and rocks his hips into yours, shuddering at the feel of you, at how wet you are swallowing him whole.

“My love, my sweet love,” he cooes, grinning as you let out a yelp at how deep he his within you.

“Gonna come,” you sigh as you feel the pressure building in your core, the feeling you only get with Felix as he takes you to ecstasy.

You let go in a flurry of groans, your pussy spasming around his cock, holding him in as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Felix chuckles before pulling out just to slam back in, his high not far behind.

He’s a mess, his hips snapping into yours hard and fast, spurred on by your cries as you claw your hands down his back, fingering his feathers which cause shivers to run through him.

At a particular whine of his name, he lets go, his cum coating your walls. Felix groans as he stills against you, panting as he tries to catch his breath. He’s looks down at you, your hair spread out beautifully on the bed, your face and body coated with a sheen of sweat.

Your eyes are dilated, filled with love as you grasp his arms, your pussy clenching around his ever softening cock. As Felix withdraws, you whimper as a flood of his cum leaks out and onto the sheets below.

It doesn’t take long for Felix to clean you up and the bed as well and before you know it, you’re within his arms, your head resting on his chest as you listen to his besting heart.

“Do you want to go back to the mortal world love,” he asks hesitantly.

He knows he took you away from everything you know and love, what little there was. But he can’t help but be selfish in this moment, hoping you wish to stay with him.

You love this man…or angel. You realized this after the first time you met him. He’s been there for you throughout the years, watching over you and guiding you.

You love Felix.

You would love nothing more than to remain with him, live by his side.

“No, I want to stay with you,” you reply softly, smiling as he squeezes you in acknowledgment.

You are his, just like he is yours. Two hearts bound together through duty and fate. And together you’ll remain in the cosmos, as one.

Human and angel.

taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght @possum-playground @katsukis1wife @my-neurodivergent-world @hanniebaeee @hwanghyunjinismybae @channiesrightasscheek @skzdreamer13

[lily-onher-grave]

It’s been two months and I’m still so freaking delighted by the fact that every time I open any social media there’s some gelphie edit floating around. Back in my day you had to close your eyes and daydream edits to your favorite song because even the best bootleg footage is still just Glinda and Elphaba standing in a pitch black void of a stage. Now I don’t even have to go into tags, I can just scroll a bit and get my heart ripped out by super colorful close up shots of absolute gay yearning set to every painfully relevant set of lyrics under the sun. I freaking love this revival so much

[lilhawkeye3]

A Crash Course to the BeyoncéBowl Performance, from a Black Woman

Note: this is NOT an in-depth deep dive into her recent albums or the songs specifically. I highly recommend you listen/read the lyrics on your own time and conduct your own research! This is just to get you thinking.

So now that we live in a post-Kendrick Super Bowl society, I wanted to revisit Beyoncé's halftime performance during the Christmas Day NFL bowl game, aka BeyoncéBowl. While this did have less viewers live (it was on Netflix, it was Christmas, it was not the Super Bowl), I think her performance still had some very important takeaways, even if they were more subtle in comparison to Kendrick.

Let's discuss, starting with...

COWBOY CARTER -- yes, the name of Beyoncé's ACT II album, but also displayed prominently on her sash and on a banner as she rides into the stadium. In western US history, cowboy had racist connotations. After the Civil War, approximately 25% of cattle workers in the Wild West were Black... and a lot of people weren't happy about that. White cattle workers were cowhands. The Black men in their same roles were cowboys.

This is a demeaning practice that still exists today. Black men are often called "boys" to take away from their legitimacy. The reverse is true as well: Black boys are elevated to "men" to signify that they are a threat.

THE COWBOY -- we see this in the very first visual. Beyoncéis Cowboy Carter of course, riding in on her white horse, but she is accompanied by a Black cowboy guiding her horse. The imagery is accompanied by a fleet of lowriders (cars with hydraulics to make them bounce, it's really cool) as Beyoncé rides through them. Considering that we see this same Black cowboy later driving her in a car in the stadium set, I think it's fair to see the parallel here-- here, she shows, are our modern city cowboys. This does not mean we have lost our western cowboy roots however, as we then see our modern Texas cowboys standing on top of their horses. This is a high-level skill.

BLACKBIIRD -- (COWBOY CARTER is entitled ACT II. Most songs include II in their title, I didn't misspell it.) Beyoncé is joined by four rising artists: Tanner Adell, Brittney Spencer, Tiera Kennedy, and Rayna Roberts. She walks in line with them as they sing about "learning to fly" -- she sees them as equal to her, not competition to pull down. They're spreading their wings. I will call out Tanner Adell in particular as she is a rising country music star (if you've seen Twisters, you may recognize her music) but in one of her songs "Buckle Bunny", she mentions "looking like Beyoncé with a lasso". She's come full circle!

YAYA -- Her license plate is BNCNTRY (been country). When Beyonce first broke into the industry, she was belittled by being called "too country" as from Houston. When she finally made a country song and performed with the then-named Dixie Chicks at the Country Music Awards with a Black band... white people were not happy. This is the same CMA community that recognized Billy Ray Cyrus for the success of "Old Town Road" instead of the main artist and creator LilNasX, because LilNasX is Black.

The story of YAYA is that music transcends genre and should not be limited by these pigeonholes people try to force artists into. Keep that in mind.

My family lived and died in America / Good old USA / Whole lot of red in that white and blue / History can't be erased

HBCU BAND -- this is a staple of many of Beyoncé's public performances (see her Coachella performance, Coldplay's Super Bowl halftime show). Texas Southern's Marching Band joins Beyoncé on the field for this event. If you are new to the term, HBCUs are historically Black colleges & universities. This is in contrast to PWIs, or predominantly white institutes. Beyoncé performs "MY HOUSE" for the first time alongside them and her daughter Blue.

SHABOOZEY -- Another rising artist in country, Shaboozey has also faced backlash for being a Black man with one of the most successful country songs of 2024, "A Bar Song (Tipsy)". As he sings: Still going up like a ladder / I'm still in the field.

LEVII'S JEANS -- It's important to note Levi's was one of the early supporters of Destiny's Child. Jeans have also always been a symbol of the working class, and including Post Malone on this song (IMO) shows crossing that bridge: the white working class and white country have more in common with the Black community than not. Like Kendrick said, the culture war is to distract from class warfare. (I understand Post Malone is rich now, but this was my takeaway.)

JOLENE -- Dolly Parton is the queen of country and she gave her blessing on this song to the point of introducing it on the album. Hers is the only opinion that maters. That other white artists and audiences have voiced issues with Beyoncé doing this song is telling.

NRG STADIUM -- a brief interlude here to say that NRG Stadium in Houston, Texas, is home to the NFL team the Houston Texans (yes really lol) but also is home to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I was there during last year's rodeo, and this was right the next song I'll talk about released... y'all, when I tell you Black people showed up just for the vibes? It was so fun. The stadium also half-emptied after Beyoncé's halftime performance ended, so the city really showed up for her.

TEXAS HOLD 'EM -- Let's line dance y'all! Texas Hold 'Em is an unapologetic country anthem and shows the range: the same dancers that hip-hop and twerking for earlier songs now rallies together to line dance. Country music was created by Black people, and we haven't forgotten. The album crossed a number of genres and showed how country is related to, inspired by, and built off of other genres just like many genres built up by Black musicians are.

You don't have to like COWBOY CARTER, you don't have to like country music, you don't even have to like Beyoncé. But her ACT II takes a lyrical and musical path through Black musical history and her own personal history to create a work of art. Her style is not the same as Kendrick's nor should it be, but her NFL halftime performance was still an act of resistance and celebration of our culture.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and this has been another Tea Time with Hawk. ☕🦅

[keepingitformyself]

older (and wiser): iii

A/N: well here we are! the final chapter of “older (and wiser).” this will not be the end tho! i plan to write a prequel series going more into depth about wanda and readers past, how they came to be, how they fell apart and what not. i do want to to make one more thing clear before you continue reading; this story is meant to be as realistic as possible. meaning the ending may not be for everyone. i specifically wrote this with intent of giving these characters an emotional arc they deserved. so, without further ado, enjoy this final chapter!

synopsis: wanda comes over for dinner one last time.

pairings: wanda maximoff x reader

genre: angst

warnings: it’s gonna be sad lowk. get the tissues ready.

MASTERLIST series masterlist

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

wanda spends most of the night back at her hotel, staring out the large window that overlooks the city. neon signs flicker in the distance, their glow casting fragmented patterns across her room.

she leans her forehead against the cool glass, letting the city hum around her, lost in thoughts of you. she imagines what you could be doing right now. if paul’s arms were wrapped around you, if he makes you laugh the way she used to. a hollow ache settles in her chest as she lets herself sink into the deep loss of not having you anymore.

the next day, early morning, wanda’s phone buzzes on the nightstand. she reaches for it groggily, only to find a message from you at the top of her screen.

come by at 6:30? here’s the address: 150 west 26th street, new york, ny 10001. see you soon!

for a moment, wanda just stares at the screen, her thumb hovering over the message. she exhales slowly, closing her eyes as a wave of uncertainty washes over her. part of her wants to pack her bags right then and there, to book an early flight and leave you in this city behind.

she doesn’t know which is worse. never facing you again or having to sit across the dinner table from you and your husband-to-be.

she spends the rest of the day mentally preparing herself for how this evening could go, running through endless scenarios in her head.

what would one talk about when having dinner with their ex’s fiance? especially when said ex is someone you’re still seemingly in love with.

oh yeah, your fiance used to look at me the same way.

or

of course, i know what her favorite song is. ‘do i ever cross your mind?’ by dolly parton. i performed it for her on our eighth month anniversary.

yeah, i paid the tech guy in the theatre department extra to let me use the theatre after hours.

the thoughts make her cringe, but the bitterness is hard to suppress. she tries to bite back the small, unwarranted hatred she’s developed for paul. everything she’s learned about him—despite her best efforts not to—has been nothing but positive.

he’s generous, patient, successful, and clearly loves you. and wanda knows you wouldn’t be marrying someone who didn’t treat you like you deserved the whole world.

it’s all pathetic in its nature. she should have been over you long by now. but she doesn’t know how to explain to you— to explain to herself—that leaving you is still something she’s trying to process. that even when she didn’t appreciate you enough, you felt like everything to her. you still do.

and she doesn’t know how to make sense of any of it.

by the time the sun sets, wanda’s resolve is still fragile. she dressed carefully, standing in front of the mirror for far too long, fussing with her appearance. she wants to look composed, unbothered. as if seeing you happy with someone else doesn’t feel like dagger to the heart. one that you keep twisting without trying.

at 6:15, she steps outside her hotel and hails a cab, clutching a bottle of wine she bought earlier as a polite gesture. as the cab weaves through the bustling streets of new york, wanda wonders what kind of expression you’ll wear when you see her. will it be warm, nostalgic, indifferent? she braces herself for anything.

when the cab drops her off in front of a sleek residential building in tribeca, she lingers for a moment before buzzing in. the door unlocks with a soft click, leading her into a quiet corridor toward an elevator. she steps inside, pressing the button for your floor with a hand that feels unsteady.

the walls feel too close. the air feels too thick.

by the time she reaches your door, her nerves are frayed. she knocks twice, her heart hammering.

four seconds later, the door swings open, and there you are, beaming at her like no time has passed.

"hi! it’s so good to see you."

before wanda can say anything, you pull her into a hug, warm and familiar. she exhales sharply, caught off guard, but she lets herself sink into it, just for a moment.

when you pull away, she notices the man standing just a few feet behind you, a cat in his arms. he watches the interaction with a patient, kind smile before gently setting the cat down.

“sorry about that,” paul says, laughing as the cat immediately tries to sneak toward the door. "he bolts every chance he gets."

then, without hesitation, he steps forward and grasps wanda’s hands in his own. his grip is firm, his smile genuine.

“it’s really nice to meet you, wanda.”

for a second, wanda is stunned by the ease of his kindness. she had spent so much time building him up in her head as an obstacle, an enemy, but standing here now, faced with his warmth, she almost felt guilty for ever resenting him.

“thank you for having me,” she manages, recovering quickly. she glances around, taking in the space. "you have a lovely home."

then, as if suddenly remembering, she reaches into her bag.

“i brought some wine,” she says, handing it to you. “the expensive kind. i know my stuff.” she huffs out a small laugh, forcing some lightness into her voice.

paul chuckles, taking the bottle from your hands to examine it. “i like her already.”

and just like that, wanda knows this is going to hurt more than she thought.

dinner passes in a blur of polite conversation and well-meaning smiles. paul is gracious, effortlessly kind, and wanda hates how easy it is to like him. she hates that there’s nothing about him to hate at all.

she watches the way you lean into him when you laugh, how his hand absentmindedly finds yours on the table. it’s second nature, the kind of comfort that only comes with time, with certainty.

and wanda knows, without question, that she has none of those things with you anymore.

paul has made it a habit to ask about how you and wanda met. even though she’s sure he already knows most of the story, he’s always genuine in wanting to hear more, especially the parts you tend to leave out.

“you got any funny stories about this one?” paul asks, flashing wanda a pointed smile. “something embarrassing, please.”

wanda huffs out a quiet laugh, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. she has plenty. but as she glances between you and paul, there’s a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. some memories feel lighter than others. some carry more weight than she knows what to do with.

still, when she sees the way you’re watching her; curious, amused, trusting, she decides to tell it.

“oh, i’ve got one,” she says, leaning forward slightly. “back in college, we tried to break into the theatre department after hours. it wasn’t really breaking in, technically, the door was open, but we definitely weren’t supposed to be there. they had this whole wire rig set up for the upcoming peter pan production, and somebody—” she tilts her chin toward you “—thought it would be a great idea to try it out.”

paul turns to you, amused. “why am i not surprised?”

you groan, already bracing for the rest of the story. wanda smirks but continues, her voice softer now.

“so, there she was, strapped into this ridiculous harness, so sure she was about to soar across the stage like some theatrical prodigy. but the second she tried to lift off, the harness jammed, and instead of flying, she was just—”

“i was dangling there,” you chime in, groaning at the memory. “like some tragic shakespearean ghost.”

“and then, of course, security walks in,” she says, shaking her head. “and instead of, i don’t know, explaining, she panicked and yelled, ‘i have done the deed. didst thou not hear a noise?’”

paul bursts out laughing, nearly choking on his drink. “you did not.”

“she did,” wanda confirms, laughing softly. “the security guy just stood there for a second, like he was reconsidering every choice that led him to that moment, then sighed and said, ‘get down.’”

paul grins, shaking his head. “so, what happened next?”

“i had to help her out of the harness before we both got kicked out,” wanda says. “and then we ran. fast.” she pauses, her smile dimming just a little. “ended up at that all-night diner by campus instead. sat there for hours, drinking burnt coffee, still laughing about it.”

her voice drifts for a moment, lost in the memory. you swallow, feeling something heavy settle in your chest, but before the silence can stretch too long, you force out a small chuckle.

“i could’ve flown,” you say, shaking your head. “i just needed a little more time.”

wanda looks at you then, and there’s something in her gaze. something paul doesn’t quite catch, but you do.

“yeah,” she murmurs. “maybe you just needed more time.”

paul laughs again, unaware of the way wanda’s fingers tighten around her glass. “you two were absolute menaces, huh?”

and just like that, the moment passes. the air lightens again, and Wanda takes another sip of her wine. but the memory lingers between you, heavier than it should be.

“did she ever tell you that we watch some of your movies sometimes?” paul cuts in, his eyes bright with genuine curiosity. there’s an eager energy to him, the kind that makes it clear he isn’t just saying it to be polite—he actually wants to talk about her work.

wanda raises an eyebrow, glancing at you. “oh?”

you offer a small, sheepish smile, and paul continues before you can respond.

“i mean, seriously,” he says, leaning forward slightly. “i’m already a pretty emotional guy, but your movies? they wreck me.”

wanda lets out a soft, amused laugh, her fingers absently tracing the stem of her wine glass. “that’s very kind of you to say.” she takes a slow sip before adding, almost offhandedly, “i guess i just have a thing for playing characters in distress.”

paul barks out a laugh at that, shaking his head. “yeah, well, you do it very well. it’s almost unfair.”

wanda smirks, but there’s something thoughtful in the way she tilts her head, as if considering his words. then, with a teasing glint in her eye, she leans in slightly and says, “i take it you’re a crier, then?”

paul places a hand over his chest in mock offense. “absolutely. no shame.”

that earns a more genuine laugh from wanda, and for a moment, the tension in her shoulders eases. the air between the three of you feels a little lighter.

when the plates are empty and the conversation slows, paul pushes back his chair with a contented sigh.

“i’ll start on the dishes,” he says, already stacking plates. “you two should catch up.”

you smile at him, appreciative, and wanda feels something twist in her chest. she shouldn’t be here. she doesn’t belong here.

still, she doesn’t move.

you refill your wine glass and lean back in your chair, watching her carefully. wanda swirls what’s left in her own glass, staring at the deep red before speaking.

“maybe i should’ve tried to convince you to run off with me,” she jokes, her voice light, almost teasing.

but when she finally looks up, she sees the way your expression falters, just for a second. you know, both of you do, that it isn’t really a joke.

you let out a small breath, shaking your head with a soft chuckle. “that wouldn’t have changed anything, wanda.”

“wouldn’t it?” she asks, a little too quickly.

your eyes search hers, and for a fleeting moment, it feels like the past is sitting between you, untouched, waiting.

wanda wonders if there’s a universe where you had run off together. if there’s a version of you out there, tangled up in her arms instead of in someone else’s.

she swallows hard. “i wish i had tried a little harder.”

your face softens, but it’s not enough to undo the distance between you. “you couldn’t help it,” you say, voice gentle.

"i could have," she insists, her hands gripping the stem of her glass a little too tightly. there’s frustration in her voice, but beneath it, there’s something raw. regret, maybe.

you don’t argue. you won’t. because the truth is, she could have.

"yeah," you admit, barely above a whisper. "maybe."

silence settles between you. wanda watches as your gaze shifts toward the window, toward the street where people pass by, oblivious to the ache sitting between you both.

she doesn’t know what she was expecting. maybe some kind of reassurance that she still lingers in your mind the way you linger in hers. that if things had been different, if she had been different, this could have been her home, her life.

but you don’t give her that.

paul’s voice calls from the kitchen. “babe, where’s the dish soap?”

you blink, turning toward the sound, and the spell is broken.

wanda forces a smile, downing the last of her wine before standing. “i should get going.”

you don't question it.

you grab wanda’s coat from the rack and walk her to the door. she doesn’t ask you to, but neither of you are quite ready for the night to end without one last moment.

“leaving so soon?” paul asks suddenly, his voice light but tinged with something unreadable. both you and wanda turn to face him.

she nods apologetically, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “i have an early flight tomorrow,” she admits, offering a small, regretful smile.

“oh.” paul’s disappointment is subtle but there, it flickers in his eyes before he shapes his expression into something more polite. “well, it was really nice meeting you, wanda.”

you glance at him, catching the way he shifts slightly, rubbing his thumb over the inside of his palm. a small habit of his when he’s holding something back. you wonder, briefly, if tonight was difficult for him too, if he’s been carrying the weight of this evening the same way you have. you decide you’ll ask him about it later.

stepping forward, you lean in to press a kiss to his cheek, feeling the way his jaw relaxes at the familiar gesture. his hand finds yours easily, his fingers warm and steady against your own.

“i’m just gonna walk her out,” you murmur, giving his hand a small squeeze.

paul nods, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he offers wanda another polite smile. “safe travels,” he says, his voice kind, sincere.

as you lead wanda toward the door, you feel the weight of paul’s gaze lingering on you, as if he knows that this goodbye is heavier than it appears.

the air outside is crisp, carrying the distant hum of the city. wanda stands beside you on the curb, her arms wrapped around herself despite the warmth of her coat. the streetlights cast long shadows, and for a second, it feels like you’re standing on the edge of something you’ll never get back.

her uber is a few minutes away. that’s all the time you have left.

she exhales softly, eyes fixed on the passing cars. then, as if she’s been holding it in all night, she finally asks, “do you think we could have worked things out? if we had been different people? under different circumstances?”

the question hits you. you open your mouth, but nothing comes out. because the truth is, you don’t know.

maybe in another life. maybe in a world where you didn’t leave the hotel before she could see you, where you both didn’t have to love each other from a distance, where you didn’t have to wonder if loving her meant waiting for something that wasn’t enough.

but this isn’t that world.

you swallow hard, staring down at the pavement. “i don’t know, wanda.”

she nods, as if she expected that answer, but the sadness in her eyes deepens anyway. “me neither.”

the uber pulls up, headlights cutting through the night, and you both turn toward it. this is it. the real goodbye.

wanda hesitates, then reaches for you, pulling you into one last embrace. you don’t know who’s holding onto who tighter. when she pulls away, her hand lingers on your arm for a second too long before she finally steps back.

“take care of yourself,” she murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.

you give her a tight-lipped smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “you too, wanda.”

she slides into the backseat, and as the car pulls away, you stand frozen on the sidewalk, watching until the taillights disappear around the corner.

and then it hits you.

the weight of it all crashes down at once. the grief, the finality, the understanding that there are some lives you’ll never get to live, some love stories that will never get their second chance.

you press a hand to your mouth as your chest tightens, eyes stinging, but you force yourself to turn back toward the building before you fall apart completely.

when you step into the lobby, you’re not surprised to see paul waiting by the elevator. he doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t have to.

the moment you reach him, you break.

a choked sob escapes you as you fall into his arms, and he holds you without hesitation, one hand smoothing over your hair, the other wrapped firmly around your back.

“i’ve got you,” he murmurs against your temple. and you believe him.

because this was never about leaving him.

you love paul. you’ve never questioned that.

but love doesn’t erase the what-ifs. it doesn’t quiet the ache of knowing there’s a version of you out there who loved wanda differently, who had a life that was beautiful in its own way. one that you’ll never get to live.

paul presses a kiss to your hair and just holds you, letting you mourn what could have been.

and when you’re finally ready, he walks you up.

[zuzu-tries-to-write]

Falling for the Act (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki X reader

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating, Slow Burn, Romance

————————————————————————

Part 3: The Lines Start to Blur

You could still feel it.

The heat of Bakugo’s lips, the way his fingers had curled into your hair like he wanted to keep kissing you. Like he wasn’t just acting.

And that was the problem.

It had been three days since the kiss, and you were still thinking about it. Every time you closed your eyes, you could feel it all over again—the pressure of his mouth, the way he tasted, the way your heart had nearly exploded in your chest.

This was getting dangerous.

Because this was fake.

And if you let yourself forget that, you were in serious trouble.

“You’re acting weird.”

You jolted out of your thoughts, blinking up at Bakugo, who was standing next to your desk with his arms crossed. His sharp red eyes were locked onto yours, filled with suspicion.

“W-What?” you stammered, shifting uncomfortably.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re being weird. Avoidin’ me and shit.”

Your stomach twisted. Had he noticed?

You quickly shook your head. “I’m not avoiding you, dumbass.”

Bakugo scoffed, leaning down slightly so that his face was level with yours. “Yeah? Then why the hell do you look like you’re about to pass out every time I touch you?”

Your breath hitched. Shit.

“I don’t—”

“Oi, lovebirds!”

You flinched as Kaminari’s voice rang through the classroom. Turning, you found him and Mina approaching with matching mischievous grins.

“Don’t tell me you guys are already having couple drama,” Mina teased, plopping into the seat next to you. “That would be so tragic.”

Kaminari smirked. “Nah, they’re just in their honeymoon phase. Right, Bakugo?”

Bakugo clicked his tongue, slipping into the seat beside you. “Shut up, dunce face.”

You barely had time to react before Bakugo casually slung his arm around your chair, his fingers brushing against your shoulder. It wasn’t even a big gesture—just something simple to sell the act—but your whole body tensed anyway.

And Bakugo noticed.

His lips twitched. His grip on your chair tightened ever so slightly. Then, as if testing something, his thumb dragged lightly against your bare skin.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

He smirked.

“Ohhh,” Mina sing-songed, eyes flicking between you two. “Wait a minute—are you getting shy, (Y/N)?”

“N-No!” you blurted, heat rushing to your face. “I just—”

You cut yourself off when you felt Bakugo’s breath ghost over your ear.

“Relax, dumbass,” he muttered low enough that only you could hear. “Ain’t like this is the first time I’ve touched you.”

Your entire body betrayed you. A shiver ran down your spine, and Bakugo felt it—because the bastard had the audacity to chuckle under his breath.

You were so screwed.

Mina gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “Oh my god, that was so hot.”

Kaminari whistled. “Damn, Bakugo, I didn’t know you had that kind of game.”

“Tch,” Bakugo huffed, leaning back in his chair like this was nothing to him. “Course I do. I don’t half-ass anything.”

You swallowed thickly, refusing to meet his gaze.

Because you weren’t so sure he was half-assing this anymore.

And that was what scared you the most.

To be continued…

[yowyowyaoi]

*At the newly rebuilt Uchiha compound*

Sasuke: So today’s the day, eh, old man? Are you nervous?

Obito, standing in front of a mirror: N-no! Why would I be nervous??

Madara, from his easy chair: You’ve only re-adjusted that tie about fifteen times now, boy. Tsk; all of this preparation for that eye-stealing son of a —

Itachi: Okay, “gramps”, we talked about this. You know it’s only by virtue of Kakashi Hatake’s compassion and mercy that you and Obito were allowed to remain free after the war. Be grateful.

Madara, grumbling: “Mercy”, indeed. He only pardoned us so that the Hokage wouldn’t be getting engaged to a war criminal.

Sasuke: All things considered, Kakashi has been great to all of us, Obito or no Obito. Look, he’s even going to go through this silly clan tradition of “performing” for your intended fiance’s Clan Elder in order to get permission to marry Obito.

Madara: The “clan elder” who SHOULD be me.

Obito, turning from the mirror: C’mon, gramps, we all voted on the wisest and fairest one here being Itachi. He beat you out fair and square; get over it already.

Itachi: I can’t wait to see what kind of act he’s going to put on for us. Does he even have any creative talents?

Obito: I’m not really sure, but I think he mentioned something about singing.

Sasuke: … Singing? I’ve never heard him —

*in the distance there’s a loud commotion coming up the road towards the house*

Madara: *sighs* Sounds like it’s starting; perhaps we should take our places outside.

*all of them go out into the courtyard, where there are prearranged chairs. Obito is the only one not in a chair; he takes a veil and uses it to cover his face, sitting on Itachi’s right side on the ground by his feet*

*A small parade marches up the road towards the house. Kakashi is in the center, dressed all in white. Naruto is on his right, playing a small drum ((slightly off-beat)), Gai is to Kakashi’s left, crying and playing a french horn, and Sakura is to Naruto’s right, skillfully playing a small keyboard strapped to her shoulders*

*they come to a stop directly in front of Itachi, and Kakashi kneels in the grass at Itachi’s feet*

Kakashi: Itachi Uchiha, head of the Uchiha clan. I come before you this morning to receive your blessing to marry Obito Uchiha. As per the traditions of your clan, I have prepared a song that expresses my feelings for him.

Itachi, trying to keep the smile from his face: Proceed.

Kakashi: *stands and beckons to the group, who start to play a gentle-sounding melody*

Kakashi, opening his mouth and letting out a startling horrible singing voice: Obitooooo! I love you sooooo! Since we were little boys, and you would steal all of my toys —

*the Uchiha’s immediately go into telepathically communicating with each other*

Sasuke: Oh my God …

Madara: *laughing hysterically inside of all their minds* I KNEW it!! I knew this union wasn’t meant to be!

Obito: Shut up, Madara! Can’t you tell how heartfelt this is??

Madara: Heartfelt, or meant to make me feel like clawing my heart out of my chest so that I’m not here to suffer this anymore?

Itachi: He’s trying … it’s not so bad …

Kakashi: … and even though I’m not worthy of your claaaaan, I still want you, Obito, to be my maaaaaaan, so come on please, Itachi, give me his haaaaaand —

Sasuke: For God’s sake, even that tone-deaf dumbass Naruto is cringing! Big brother, please, just give him permission and end this! My ears can’t take much more!

Kakashi: And now for the second part of my song, I want to —

Itachi, out-loud: NO! N-no need for any more. You’ve convinced me; there is nobody more worthy of Obito Uchiha’s hand than you. *stands and takes Obito by the arm, lifting him to his feet, before placing his hand in Kakashi’s* Emgagement granted. Come back tomorrow and we shall dine together and discuss plans for a wedding.

*cheers erupt as Kakashi moves Obito’s veil back from his face, and the two kiss*

Sasuke, to Sakura: I’m glad that’s over. I can’t imagine having had to sit through a second verse.

Sakura, grinning: Oh if you thought THAT was bad, wait until you hear the act that Naruto’s got planned for when he comes to ask Itachi for your hand. Lets just say I’ve got my medical team working on hearing aids and prosthetic ears for everyone as we speak.

Sasuke:

[chibinasuu]

How they'd spend Valentine's Day with you

Pairings: Penguin, Marco, Franky, Izou x Reader Tags: sfw, fluff, established relationship, GN but written with F!Reader in mind, no use of y/n

a/n: you might be thinking, what a random set of characters! well, a while ago i did a poll on which of my blorbos i should write a valentine’s fic for, and Killer won, but i still felt like doing something for the other characters who didn’t win, so here are some valentine’s day headcanons with them! i hope you enjoy this and please be on the lookout for the Killer fic on 14 feb too 😘

Penguin

Penguin would be the type to ask “Will you be my Valentine’s?” every single time on Valentine’s Day, even after years of dating.

When you say yes, like you always do, he’d grin so wide and give you a big smooch right on your lips.

Penguin loves to spoil you with gifts.

He’d take you out on a special date to the market, indulging you as you browse the many stalls there one by one.

Without you knowing, he’d pay attention and take note of all the things you touched and admired, the stuff you’d eye for a tad bit too long, the items that made your eyes sparkle.

He’d buy every single one of them.

At the end of the day, his bag would be stuffed with all the little trinkets, to the point that it would be hard for him to hide it from you.

Before you return to the Polar Tang, he’d hand over the bag to you with a shy smile, which would turn into a wide grin when he witnessed your surprised expression and gasp of delight.

His face would flush as you hug him tight and pepper kisses all over his face.

He’d never get tired of receiving affection from you. That, for him, is the most precious gift of all.

Marco

Marco was not a fan of Valentine’s Day. He had always thought it trivial... at least, until he met you.

On your first Valentine’s Day as a couple, he’d be so nervous that he’d ask Ace for advice.

The Fire Fist would recommend candlelight dinners, romantic poetries, breakfast in bed – but none of them seemed right.

For Marco, loving you is as simple as breathing, as natural as flying. He had never felt the need to do grand gestures to show his love, and you never expected him to either. You have never felt more loved than the time you spent with Marco.

It would come as a surprise when a knock sounds on your door, and you open it to reveal a bashful Marco holding a humble bunch of hand-picked flowers.

His face would be bright red as he asks for your hand, inviting you out to the deck. You’d follow in confusion, even more so when he tells you to hop onto his back.

He’d spread his wings of blue flames and take you to the skies, laughing when you yelp in shock and tighten your grip around his neck, eyes firmly shut

He’d urge you to open your eyes, and you’d gasp in wonder at the sight of the bright stars all around you.

You’d relax and enjoy the wind on your face, occasionally giving him a peck on the cheek from your perch on his back.

Fear would not find you for the rest of the flight, despite the terrifying height.

You were with Marco, after all. He would never let you fall.

Franky

Franky is definitely a romantic and you bet he’d go all out for Valentine’s.

You’d be randomly visited by robot doves singing love songs. You’d find little love notes folded into hearts tucked in your drawers, slid underneath your door, and not-so-subtly slipped into your pockets.

The day would culminate in a romantic dinner on the upper deck of the Sunny.

He’d stand there with a suit (no pants, of course), the red bow tie matching his speedos and the massive bouquet of roses he’s holding out to you.

He’d grin, “Happy Valentine’s, Sugar.”

Before him would be a table for two, complete with a white tablecloth, candles, and a scatter of rose petals.

He’d pull out your chair, not forgetting to compliment your looks and outfit, of course.

He would've begged Sanji to make all of your favorite meals, bribing him with a new state-of-the-art lock for the fridge.

You two would share a toast with cola-filled wine glasses and spend the night just chatting and laughing together, and maybe shamelessly flirting too.

After dinner, he’d treat you to a spectacular fireworks show, and you’d wonder how he managed to make the pink sparks explode into heart patterns all over the night sky.

A sweet kiss would be the cherry on top following dessert, the sugary taste lingering as he’d drag you to some secret corner on the Sunny that only he knew about.  

Izou

Izou never so much as holds your hand in front of other people.

“It’s not very becoming of Wano men to show public displays of affection,” would be his usual excuse.

You never really minded. You’re plenty satisfied with the affection he showers you with whenever the two of you are alone.

But on Valentine’s Day, as the Whitebeard Pirates party the night away at a crowded bar, Izou would suddenly grasp your hips and pull you into his lap, his hand possessively resting against your thigh.

You’d quirk an eyebrow at him, “I thought it wasn’t becoming of Wano men to show public displays of affection.”

“Well, I’m a pirate now. I can do whatever I want.”

You’d laugh, knowing him well enough to figure out that he just wanted the other men at the bar to back off, in case they get ideas of wooing you during this Day of Love.

After a while, you’d drag him away from the bar, eagerly leading him to the shore where you can take a leisurely stroll beneath the moon.

Moonlit walks are among Izou's favorite things to do, and he had started taking you with him when you two became a couple.

You love how the moon illuminates his face and reflects off his hair. You love how serene and romantic these quiet walks with Izou are

But most of all, you love how it would be just the two of you out there on the shore, and you know that Izou’s hands and lips are always the most free when no one is watching.

↳ masterlist

[ivyues]

Chasing Yesterday | 3 | - Bang Chan

Bang Chan x lost connection trainee friend

Years after splitting paths, Bang Chan didn't expect a simple text to bring an old friend – and old feelings – back into his life.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A few weeks into your songwriting exchanges, with Chris texting at the oddest hours, late-night texts became a common occurrence. One particular night, around 2:37 AM, your phone buzzed. Squinting at the screen, you saw a message from him:

"What do you think about this for the chorus?" followed by a snippet of lyrics, raw but laced with his unmistakable poetic charm.

You chuckled, shaking your head as you typed back: "Ever the insomniac, I see."

His reply came almost instantly: "Only when inspiration hits. Or maybe it's your fault for making me think about this song all the time."

Your cheeks warmed at his words, and you found yourself smiling at the screen longer than necessary. "Well, I can’t be held responsible for your midnight genius," you quipped.

There was a pause before his next message arrived. "Do you ever share your lyrics with anyone else, or just me?"

The question was casual on the surface, but something about it made your stomach flutter. You hesitated, trying to read between the lines, before responding: "Not really, just you. Why, are you keeping tabs?"

His reply had a playful edge, but the undertone was clear: "Maybe I am. Hard to keep up when you probably have someone else keeping you up at night too."

You blinked at the screen, your heart skipping a beat as the subtle question sank in. Was he asking what you thought he was asking?

"Nope, no one else," you typed quickly, feeling the heat creep up your neck. "Just you and your insomniac ramblings."

For a moment, there was no reply, and you wondered if you’d imagined the implication. Then your phone lit up again.

"Good to know," he wrote simply, followed by a winking emoji.

The fluttering in your chest lingered long after, his subtle words replaying in your mind as you turned your attention back to his lyrics – though focusing on the song was suddenly a lot harder.

-----

Weeks later, you found yourselves standing in front of the shop you used to frequent as trainees. The neighborhood had changed, but the nostalgia was undeniable. The darkness of the night making it feel as if time was turned back.

"I can't believe that convenience store is still here," you said, pointing to a brightly lit corner across the street.

"That place got us through some rough days," he said, smiling as he nudged your shoulder playfully. "I bet they still have those awful instant noodles you used to love."

"You mean the ones you kept stealing from me?" you shot back, bumping him back.

After a brief silence, he pointed ahead to a street corner. "Remember that time we got caught sneaking back late from practice? Right there."

"Oh, how could I forget? You tripped over nothing, and the instructor thought we were drunk."

"In my defense, I was exhausted," he said, holding up his hands. "And maybe a little lightheaded from laughing at your terrible jokes."

"My terrible jokes?" you shot back, raising an eyebrow. "I’m the reason you survived those trainee days, don’t even lie."

He grinned, bumping your shoulder gently. "Okay, maybe you were the reason. But you owe me for all those times I covered for you when you skipped warm-ups."

"You’re never going to let that go, are you?"

"Not a chance," he said, smirking.

For a moment, neither of you said anything, content to walk quietly in the comforting familiarity of the nightern neighborhood. The sounds of crickets and the occasional car passing by filled the silence.

At one point, he took to balancing on the edge of the curb, arms outstretched like a tightrope walker.

"You haven't changed," you teased, watching him wobble dramatically.

"Sure I have," he said, hopping back onto the pavement. He glanced at you, his expression soft. “You know, my members keep bugging me about you."

"Yeah?" you asked, hiding your smile.

"Yeah. They're dying to meet the person who's been making me stay up all night."

"And here I thought it was the music," you quipped playfully, but feeling a flutter of warmth as his laugh echoed in the quiet street.

As you came to a halt, a quiet hum filled the space between you – the faint rustle of leaves, the distant hum of a car engine. But it all faded as he lifted his hand, his fingers brushing tentatively against your cheek. The touch was warm, steady, and it made your heart stutter in your chest.

"I’ve been wanting to do this for a while," he said, almost in a whisper. His thumb gently traced the curve of your cheekbone, and his expression was so open, so unguarded, that it left you breathless.

"You always overthink," you teased softly, your voice trembling just enough to betray how your pulse raced.

He smiled faintly, the corners of his lips twitching as he leaned in, slow and deliberate. His eyes searched for yours, giving you all the time in the world to pull away. But you didn’t move. The space between you felt electric, pulling you closer and closer.

And then, as his lips hovered just a breath away from yours, you closed the gap. Your lips met his in a soft, delicate kiss, barely there but enough to make the world tilt on its axis.

When you drew back, your faces lingered close, his hand still cradling your face as if he was afraid to let go. His eyes fluttered open, and the awe in his gaze sent a fresh wave of warmth through you.

"I..." He laughed softly, a little breathless. "I really hope I can keep you in my life this time."

You smiled, your cheeks flushed as you covered his hand with yours. "Guess that means you’ll just have to try harder."

His grin widened, the playful glint returning to his eyes as he let his hand drop to your side. And as you resumed walking, his fingers found yours, intertwining them as if they’d always belonged there.

-----

One night, when you were halfway between sleep and wakefulness, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. Groaning softly, you reached for it, blinking at the screen to see Chris’ name glowing against the darkness.

Without hesitation, you swiped to answer. “Hello?” your voice came out groggy, but warm enough to convey you didn’t mind the late-night call.

“Hey,” his voice came through, quiet but heavy. “Sorry for waking you... again.”

“It’s fine,” you murmured, sitting up slightly and tucking the blanket around your shoulders. “What’s wrong? Studio night?”

He sighed, and the sound alone made your chest tighten. “Yeah. I’ve been here for hours, and there is this song for the new album—" He paused. “It’s not coming together. I’ve tried everything, but something’s missing, and I just... I didn’t know who else to call.”

Your heart softened at his admission. He sounded worn out, like he’d been carrying the weight of it alone for far too long. “I’m glad you called me,” you said gently. “Tell me about the song.”

“It’s supposed to feel big—emotional—but also grounded. Right now, it just feels... unfinished.” His frustration was evident, each word edged with self-doubt.

“Why don’t you play it for me?” you suggested, lying back down and settling the phone beside your ear on the pillow.

There was a pause, and you could almost hear him hesitating. “You sure? It’s... pretty rough.”

“I don’t care. I want to hear it,” you said with a smile he couldn’t see, but maybe he could hear it in your voice.

“Okay, hang on.”

The faint shuffling of him setting things up came through, followed by the opening notes of the track. The sound was distant through the phone’s speaker, but even like this, you could feel the rawness in it. The melody was beautiful – aching and layered – but you could hear what he meant. It wasn’t quite complete.

When it ended, silence hung between you for a moment before you spoke. “It’s good.”

“Yeah, but it’s not enough,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what it needs.”

You thought for a moment, closing your eyes as you replayed the song in your mind. “What if you added something more... organic? Like a vocal sample? Something raw to balance the electronic layers?”

The line went quiet, and you worried you’d overstepped. But then he exhaled a soft laugh, the tension in his voice easing. “We can try it.”

For the next little while, you stayed on the line as he tinkered with the track, bouncing ideas back and forth. He’d hum a phrase or play a new layer, asking for your thoughts before adding it in. Despite the late hour, there was a certain comfort in hearing the way his voice shifted from frustration to quiet focus as you worked together.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes,” he said, his voice carrying a warmth that made your chest feel lighter. 

His words wrapped around you like a blanket, and you hummed softly in response. “You’re welcome, Chris. I’m always here.”

“Still,” he continued, his tone soft but serious. “I owe you.”

The conversation lingered as he talked about the track, how much it meant to him, and the plans he had for it. His voice, steady and soothing, was the last thing you remembered clearly.

Somewhere between his words and the comfort of the moment, your eyelids grew heavier, while your phone still rested on the pillow next to your head.

“Y/N?” His voice broke through faintly, but you were already drifting. “Are you still—oh. You fell asleep, huh?”

You didn’t hear him chuckle softly on the other end or his quiet, “Goodnight, Y/Nnie.”

The line stayed connected, the faint hum of the studio bleeding through as he worked, glancing at his phone every so often to see the call still ongoing, a quiet comfort in knowing you were there, even in sleep.

-----

The restaurant buzzed with conversation and laughter as you and Chris stepped inside. He had picked you up for the long awaited introduction to your members. The guys were already gathered around a large table, and the moment they spotted the two of you, an eruption of greetings filled the space. Some were teasing, some warm, but all carried an easy familiarity that made you smile.  

Chris gestured for you to sit beside him, and as you settled in, you let out a nervous sigh, crossing your arms.  

"This feels like meeting the kids you didn’t know about," you mused, breaking the silence. 

Laughter broke out instantly. Felix leaned forward, grinning. "Yeah, your co-parent over here has been keeping secrets from you."  

Chris groaned, rubbing his face, but the corners of his lips twitched upward. "I knew this was a bad idea."  

Seungmin grinned mischievously. “You say that, but you have been talking about her a lot.”

At that, everyone turned their attention to Chris, their teasing grins widening.

Felix gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Oh, so much talking.”

“I wasn’t—” Chris started, but Hyunjin interrupted.

“Oh, you so were.” He turned to you. “He literally never shuts up about you.”

“Hyunjin,” Chris warned, but his ears were already turning red.

You couldn’t help but grin. “Well, I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be,” Chris muttered, shooting the others a look. “These kids are just out for some trouble.”

The conversation flowed effortlessly after that, the boys naturally pulling you into their dynamics. They were curious about your history with Chris, and you found yourself reminiscing about your trainee days together.  

At one point, I.N called Chrs hyung, and you blinked in surprise.  

"Wow," you muttered. "That still feels so weird to hear."  

Chris raised an eyebrow. "What does?"  

"You being a hyung," you explained, shaking your head. "When we trained together, he was always one of the youngest. And now he's got all of you younger members looking up to you." You smirked. 

Felix grinned. "That’s so different from what we know."  

Hyunjin leaned in conspiratorially. "Yeah, when I joined, he had this whole intimidating, dark aura radiation off of him."  

You scoffed. "Intimidating?"  

"Yeah!" Hyunjin nodded eagerly. "I was honestly scared of him at first. He was always focused, serious during practice, and since he was already leading the team, he had this whole don’t-mess-with-me energy."  

You snorted, looking at Chris with pure disbelief. "Where was that energy when we were trainees? Because I remember you misusing honorifics, offending your hyungs by accident, and playing way too many pranks."  

I.N gasped. "What?"  

Chris groaned, sinking lower in his seat as the table erupted in laughter. "Why did I bring you here again?"  

"You love me," you teased, bumping your shoulder against his.  

Reminiscing about Chris’ trainee days, they quickly started asking about your own time as a trainee.  

"Noona, how long did you train?" Felix asked curiously.  

"A bit over three years," you answered easily.  

There was a pause, followed by various sounds of disbelief as that was longer than most of them trained.

"You trained for three years and just quit?" Hyunjin gaped.  

You shrugged. "Yeah, well. Life happens. Things don’t always go the way you plan."  

The table fell quiet for a moment, a few of them exchanging thoughtful glances. Then Han, ever the mood-maker, leaned forward with a smirk.  

"That’s wild. And now you’re the mystery person keeping hyung up all night."  

Chris choked on his drink, coughing. "For music. Don’t get any weird ideas."  

"Sure, sure," Han teased.  

"By the way," Changbin started, eyeing Chris suspiciously. "There’s this song he has been working on, but he won’t show us."  

"Yeah," Han chimed in, pointing his chopsticks at Chris. "Every time we try to listen, he closes his laptop or changes the subject."  

You didn’t even have to look at Chris to know. You felt his eyes on you instantly.  

You turned slightly, meeting his gaze.  

And you knew. They were talking about that song. The one that, since you were teenagers, was kept between just the two of you.

-----

Hours after the dinner with the members, you laid sprawled out on your bed, staring at the ceiling, still replaying moments from the night. 

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, the screen lighting up with a message from Felix who you had freshly exchanged numbers with.

Felix🐥: Noona, it was really nice meeting you. 😊 I hope you had a great time!

Felix🐥: You mean a lot to him, you know.

You blinked at the screen, suddenly more awake. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard before you typed back.

You: That obvious, huh?

Felix🐥: Painfully. The way he looks at you? It’s different. Like you’re the only person in the room.

Your heart skipped.

Felix🐥: I’ve known Chan for years, but I’ve never seen him like this.

You swallowed, staring at the message for longer than necessary. There was a weight to Felix’s words, something deeper than just casual teasing.

Felix🐥: Just thought you should know.

You bit your lip, warmth blooming in your chest.

You: Thanks, Lix. ❤️

pt.4 | pt.5 | masterlist

[chilling-seavey]

Dreams of Long Ago (ka12)

↳ Timeless: F1 Grid Masterlist

↳ Summary: Leaving Italy behind with nothing in his pockets but 5-pence and a steamship ticket, Kimi has his sights set on a new life in America.

↳ Title Song: Dreams of Long Ago by Enrico Caruso (1912)

↳ Word Count: 1.9k

↳ A/N: Maybe it's the Titanic nerd in me but I loved writing this one and got a little carried away. Never thought I'd write something for Kimi but now that I have, I feel like I have a whole new outlook on him LOL

↳ Warnings: Descriptions of a sinking ship, brief descriptions and implications of human suffering, historically accurate classism, historically accurate illiteracy, implied character death.

April 1912

Standing on the stern deck of the steamship, Kimi and his two cabin mates stared up at the looming iceberg as it floated by, strong and solid against the inky black sky. As it passed, a few chunks of ice fell onto the wood deck at their feet, crashing and splintering over. Kimi took an instinctive step back, brown eyes wide as he stared up at the force of stagnant nature that held the power over them.

“That was blasted close,” one of his friends declared, words thick in his Irish accent that was tainted with the edge of his uneducated upbringing.

“I’ve never seen a berg that big,” the other friend added, in a rolling Spanish accent, leaning over the railing to watch as the iceberg disappeared into the night in the wake of the steamship.

“Think it hit?” Kimi asked, joining him at the railing.

“No matter,” his Irish friend assured them and he kicked one of the chunks of ice towards them, “this ship’s unsinkable anyway.”

Kimi glanced down at the chunk of ice now resting beside his feet. He tossed a smile over his shoulder to the smiling face of his friend and, in a quick movement, spun around and gave it a sharp kick back. The ice went skidding over the wood and hit one of the metal railings, echoing a satisfying ‘clunk’ across the deck.

“Goal!” Kimi threw his hands up in mock celebration.

“Oi! We hadn’t started!” the Irishman protested and went running after the ice to retrieve it. 

Unperturbed by the impressively sized iceberg that had floated by, the young men drifted away from the railing to begin a proper game of football with the chunk of ice.

For the prior four days since setting sail from Southampton, Kimi had grown quite close with his cabin mates. The Spaniard had boarded in England as well but the Irishman boarded in Queenstown a day later; all about the same age and with the same goal of starting a new life in America where life seemed to be far more prosperous than in Europe. Together, the three new friends prepared for their transatlantic journey on the Ship of Dreams: Titanic. 

After a proper kick-about with the ice block on the deck, sharing a few smokes and plenty of laughs, it was approaching midnight and the young men headed back inside to start to get ready for bed. They spoke boisterous amongst themselves as they made their way through the white walled hallways and stairwells down to the bowels of the ship and made the lengthy trek towards the bow where their cabin was located. 

The three shared a cramped third-class cabin with wood trimmed bunk beds and a private basin. The accommodations were the nicest on any ship to date and Kimi felt like royalty. It was certainly nicer than the run-down farmhouse he was raised in back in Italy, working his hands to the bone on farm labour day in and day out. On Titanic, he even had full meals served to him at proper dining tables, not to mention running water. It felt like a luxury and a blessing to have saved enough for this one-way ticket. The opportunity of a lifetime. 

As they turned down their hallway, Kimi’s attention was drawn from their lively conversation to the sudden wet slap of his shoes on the floor. He paused and glanced down, letting his friends wander onwards, unknowing. The hallway floor was coated with a thin blanket of water. Only about a millimetre deep, it was still an odd thing to see.

“Oi!” the Irishman shouted when he, too, noticed the water, pitching out a joking, “Who flooded the baths?”

The Spaniard stamped his feet in the water and watched it splash up around the soles of his worn leather boots, laughing like a little kid. 

Something in Kimi’s stomach churned. This wasn’t right. 

They continued down to their cabin and stepped inside, the water also invading that space and staining any of their belongings that were resting on the floor. Kimi picked up his small trunk from the floor with a scrunch of his nose and tossed it up onto his top bunk to get it out of the water. 

“I thought this vessel was supposed to be top of the line,” the Spaniard chastised as he flopped down onto his bunk, “And now the plumbing is flooded?”

The Irishman was staring at Kimi and he reached out to swat his arm, “What’s with the face, mate? Look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Kimi glanced at his two friends and shook his head faintly, “This water…doesn’t feel right.”

“Well, no shiet,” the Irishman laughed, looking to their Spanish friend to have a banter buddy, “Feels like we’re swimming to America now, eh?”

Kimi looked back down at the floor of their cabin. The water was now at the tops of his boots. 

He squeezed past his friends in the narrow confines of their cabin and opened the door again to look out into the hallway. A few other passengers were doing the same, everyone with confessed expressions. Somewhere down the hall, he could hear a baby crying. 

Kimi stepped back inside and put a foot up on the bottom bunk to reach his top one, ignoring the playful chastising from his Spanish friend about getting his bed wet with the water on his boots. He opened his trunk and rifled through his limited belongings to find his leather bound journal that was bulging with family photographs stuffed between the pages and a few of his Nonna’s secret recipes. He tucked the book in the inside pocket of his tweed jacket and hopped back onto the floor with a splash.

“I am going to check where this water is coming from.” Kimi announced to his friends, not waiting for a reply before he was leaving their cabin and making his way down the hallway, the water sloshing around his ankles. 

A crew member was walking down the hallway, his voice echoing off the walls as he called out, “Please put on your lifebelts and return to your cabins!”

“Sir—” Kimi approached him.

Before he could ask anything, the man was cutting him off with a firm, “Please put on your lifebelt and return to your cabin.”

“The water—”

“Lifebelts. Cabin.” the man reiterated in a slower, more enunciated manner as if Kimi’s strong Italian accent meant he couldn’t speak English. 

Kimi watched him hurry past, leaving him there in ankle deep water, mouth slightly agape. 

He returned to his cabin to pass on the information to his friends. The three of them put on their lifebelts and secured them in place and by then, the water was up to their shins. Noise from the hallway was growing. It seemed his friends were starting to understand the severity of the situation. 

They emerged back out into the hallway where a crowd of other third-class passengers were filling the space; some held bags in their hands or carried crying children on their hips. Dozens of languages overlapped each other, filling the echoing hallway with unintelligible noise and chaos that held an undercurrent of panic. 

“Is the bloody ship sinking?” the Irishman gaped in disbelief, “I thought she was unsinkable!”

“Obviously no ship is unsinkable.” Kimi retorted flatly, looking left and right down the unmarked hallway.

“Oh, mercy,” their Spanish friend whined, clinging onto the doorframe, “this is God’s redemption to us all saying He, Himself, couldn’t sink this ship. He’s showing His power.”

The third-class corridors in the boughs of the ship were like a maze. White paneled walls kinked and turned and stretched for ages, every corner looking the same, every door leading in circles. As Kimi led his friends through the crowded hallways, pushing and squeezing past frazzled passengers, he could only hope he knew where he was going. He knew they had to make it to the boat deck but that was first class territory and he had never been up there before. 

At an intersection of hallways, he came across a sign with arrows. He blinked at it and then squinted at it, trying to make out the English words. Growing up in poverty in rural Italy, he was lucky to have been able to learn how to speak English. Reading was a whole other situation. He could barely even read Italian, dammit. 

He turned to his friends and gestured to the sign, “Can anyone read this?”

The clueless Spaniard, in the same boat as Kimi, turned to the Irishman, whose first language was English. 

He frowned at them, “I can’t read for shiet.”

Kimi huffed and looked left and right down the noisy hallway. Somewhere deep in the ship, a loud groaning echoed. Kimi made a decision and turned left.

The water was up to their thighs; icy cold and causing each step to feel heavy. Kimi kept a hand on the wall to steady himself as they trekked through the freezing ocean water, past panicked passengers. They were all in the same situation; struggling to find their way out of a maze of hallways and doors without the ability to read where they were going. There wasn’t a crew member in sight. 

Walking grew harder as the ship tilted towards the bow. It helped them figure out what direction they were going in, pushing back against the steep inclines with every step, pulling themselves up staircases in a frantic mess. Echos of peoples’ panicked shouts and cries filled every corridor and rattled in Kimi’s head. He swore he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Was this fighting for his life?

When the trio reached the top of one of the staircases leading out to the first floor areas, Kimi, who was leading, found the barrier locked. He rammed his shoulder against the door to try and open it. It didn’t budge. He swore under his breath and tried again and his friends helped to push their weight against it, shouting and calling out as they hoped someone on the other side would let them out. 

They were met with no response. 

The water rose higher.

Kimi turned to face the water that crawled its way up the staircase after them, licking at their boots and grabbing their ankles. He pressed his back up against the door and one arm crossed instinctively over his body as if protecting the journal still hidden away in his jacket pocket. 

His friends spoke over each other in a panic, clawing and pounding at the door as the water rose higher. Kimi was frozen in place, plastered against the wall at the top of the stairs, watching how sparks of electricity sizzled as the water danced with the wiring along the ceiling of the stairwell. The iciness of the ocean water felt heavy against his chest as if it were suffocating him and stabbing him all over. He was merciless to the power of the Atlantic and of God. 

Kimi never considered himself to be religious, always acting against his Nonna’s firm Catholic teachings since he was a little boy. But, in that moment, as the ice cold water caressed his face with the hand of death, he screwed his eyes shut and muttered a prayer in his dear native Italian.

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